T15WIT: So, how goes your love life eh?
T15WIT: Still paranoid, or what?
ImABadAstronaut7: i had reason to
ImABadAstronaut7: she broke up with me last night
ImABadAstronaut7: and now i wish i was dead
T15WIT: ooh
T15WIT: Poor ryan, stupid to ask if you're okay is it?
T15WIT: Did she leave you for another man?
T15WIT: Or do you "not want to talk about it"?
T15WIT: Because I'll leave if that's what you want
T15WIT: but I'll also listen if you want to rant
ImABadAstronaut7: no
ImABadAstronaut7: she didnt leave me for someone else
ImABadAstronaut7: thats what happened last time
ImABadAstronaut7: she said she just stopped liking me that way
T15WIT: i see
ImABadAstronaut7: she wants to be friends
T15WIT: oh
ImABadAstronaut7: that "she isnt leaving me, but she just wants to change the relationship"
T15WIT: I'm sorry
T15WIT: I really am
T15WIT: I don't know whether to tell you "But maybe it's for the best." Or to tell you to "I'll...go now..."
ImABadAstronaut7: nah its not your fault
T15WIT: I have a question though
T15WIT: Not to be rude, but did you ever like Chelsea?
T15WIT: I've just been wondering and never got enough audacity to ask..
T15WIT: actually that I shouldn't ask, it isn't my situation, sorry I guess I am nosy..
ImABadAstronaut7: no not really
T15WIT: Okay
ImABadAstronaut7: i thought i did while i was there, but i didnt
T15WIT: Ah, gotcha
T15WIT: Well, maybe it is for the best man
ImABadAstronaut7: wha?
T15WIT: I mean, maybe if you were still with her, you would've had to pass up on someone better
ImABadAstronaut7: still with who?
T15WIT: life is pretty odd, ya never know
ImABadAstronaut7: im so lost with everything
T15WIT: Aren't we all?
T15WIT: I mean, who here actually knows what they are doing?
ImABadAstronaut7: but not everyone wants to kill themselves
ImABadAstronaut7: not for love at least
T15WIT: Meh, you'd be surprised
T15WIT: Not everyone, but a great number
ImABadAstronaut7: thats true
ImABadAstronaut7: maybe theyve got something there
T15WIT: seeing that my bf was on the verge of killing himself when I decided to breathe a weekend without him there
ImABadAstronaut7: if i were to die, i wouldnt miss ashley anymore
T15WIT: ...of course I did it on Valentine's day...ouch, not the best of times
ImABadAstronaut7: ironic, thats the same day i asked her out
T15WIT: But if you died, you wouldn't meet maybe that one girl who saves your life
T15WIT: I had the weirdest Valentine's day
T15WIT: Because on the Tuesday of that week, I told him, no more, I needed to breathe for a couple of days
T15WIT: Then on Saturday *valentines* it was raining, and I went to the local library, and he was there
T15WIT: weird how ironic my life seems to be
T15WIT: We didn't know each other would be there, and we worked out there that day
T15WIT: so it was a mixed blessing.
ImABadAstronaut7: hmm
ImABadAstronaut7: i hate my life
T15WIT: Wait a sec, I'm here to listen to you! Sorry, got carried away
ImABadAstronaut7: i ency you
ImABadAstronaut7: envy*
ImABadAstronaut7: you have someone that loves you
ImABadAstronaut7: i dont have that
T15WIT: Oh brohter
T15WIT: *brother
T15WIT: This guy that loves me about every week, goes from "I love ya Tor' " to "Listen, you're a bitch tory, I can't stand you, why did I ever go with you?"
ImABadAstronaut7: at least you have someone to say those things
T15WIT: and then "I'm such a dick, i'm so sorry tory, I do love you." etc
T15WIT: Well, Ryan, just because one left you doesn't mean there's a better one out there
ImABadAstronaut7: i love her, and only her
T15WIT: You're young.
ImABadAstronaut7: ive loved her since 5th fucking grade
ImABadAstronaut7: i was young then too, but i still loved her
T15WIT: ...and it's ninth now?
T15WIT: Four Years?
ImABadAstronaut7: yes
T15WIT: brb
T15WIT: You've loved her for four years
T15WIT: and the average human lifespan is what, 80 years?
ImABadAstronaut7: i dont know
ImABadAstronaut7: probably
ImABadAstronaut7: ill die around 115 though
T15WIT: So for only 1/20 th of your life *alot of it not even near her* you're willing to kill yourself
ImABadAstronaut7: everyone in my family has died past 100 years old
T15WIT: Wow, that's kewl
T15WIT: So it's less than that!
ImABadAstronaut7: still
ImABadAstronaut7: im 15, and ive liked for for 4 years
ImABadAstronaut7: thats almost 1/4 of my life
ImABadAstronaut7: so look at it that way
ImABadAstronaut7: if i can love her for that long, how could i possibly stop liking her?
ImABadAstronaut7: i dont even want to
ImABadAstronaut7: i love her
ImABadAstronaut7: i always have
ImABadAstronaut7: but she doesnt care about me that way
ImABadAstronaut7: and if i died, i wouldnt have to miss her anymore
T15WIT: But if you died, someone else would miss you
ImABadAstronaut7: i dont care
T15WIT: and then they'd kill themselves, and then someone who cared for them would kill themselves, and then it'd be a neverending process
ImABadAstronaut7: wed all die
ImABadAstronaut7: we'd*
T15WIT: I know.
ImABadAstronaut7: and i would be the cause of the destruction of the human race
T15WIT: You'd be a mass murderer and you wouldn't even know it :p
ImABadAstronaut7: but i dont care
T15WIT: You would make her unhappy.
T15WIT: Or do you think she wouldn't care if you did that?
T15WIT: Think in her spot for once
ImABadAstronaut7: but it wouldnt compare to how unhappy i am
T15WIT: Are you sure?
T15WIT: What if she comes back to you soon and says "I'm sorry, I made a mistake" or something like that
ImABadAstronaut7: she isnt
T15WIT: and there'd you be, dead..too late
ImABadAstronaut7: i know that
T15WIT: Ryan, Don't you damn well kill yourself.
ImABadAstronaut7: why not
T15WIT: I'll come over there and make sure you don't do it.
T15WIT: Because she's not worth it!
ImABadAstronaut7: you dont even know where i am
T15WIT: She's not worth you killing yourself!
ImABadAstronaut7: yes she is
T15WIT: I don't give a shit
ImABadAstronaut7: killing myself is worth getting away from all this pain
T15WIT: She ripped out your heart. Don't you kill yourself man, don't you do it
T15WIT: And I never wanna hear you talk such bull shit again Ryan!
T15WIT: Argh
ImABadAstronaut7: fine leave me too
T15WIT: You know what?
ImABadAstronaut7: waht?
T15WIT: Fuck it, You live your life the way you want to. I don't give a damn anymore, I should have never talked Carson out of suicide, I shouldn't have ever talked Ben out of suicide, and I shouldn't have ever tried with you.
T15WIT: I'm gone.






Fuck it indeed, no more of that shit for me.