Live and love

T15WIT: I’m scared lately, I’m scared that you don’t really love me, but only lust me I mean the only times you tell me you love me is after a kiss or say I make some witty remark, and I’ve been such a bitch to hang around with and I’m just afraid I’ll lose you, and if you do want to be lost, I mean it might’ve been a waste of time but I had fun while doing it and I can’t fall asleep till I tell you that.
T15WIT: I had to say that, I couldn't fall asleep
Capra Sesso Uomo: Don't worry, you're not the only one who's had to think stuff like that over.
T15WIT: I really really just don't want to lose you
T15WIT: but I mean, it's okay if you
Capra Sesso Uomo: Sure, the whole lust part is fun and all, but that's not why I love you. I can't really say for sure the real reason, but I do. It's just sort of a glowing warmth I get around you, that's all
T15WIT: I just have a fear
T15WIT: That's all
T15WIT: Although you might not know it, I think a lot about you
Capra Sesso Uomo: Don't worry, Tory. I know I've been hard on you for all of this "bitch" stuff. I apologize for that.
T15WIT: like, at times when I really shouldn't I should be doing some thing of work or something
Capra Sesso Uomo: And vice-versa, I should add
T15WIT: Don't apologize
T15WIT: I just don't want to lose you
T15WIT: I don't know why
T15WIT: "possesive.."
Capra Sesso Uomo: Why? I've been smacking your around mentally and in some sense physically. I have a reason to apologize.
Capra Sesso Uomo: Nah
T15WIT: but I don't want to ever sound like that so I never say anything
Capra Sesso Uomo: Don't worry, I'd lose a lot of sleep and go into a crippling depression if I lost you, so you don't have to worry about plurality in this situation
T15WIT: I mean, I really really do never want to lose you, but I'm afraid I'd scare you away so I never say anything
T15WIT: And sometimes I really hate myself after I say something, even if afterwards I say "jk"
T15WIT: not even counting for you even ben, or dan or even Sara
Capra Sesso Uomo: Yeah, I gotcha
Capra Sesso Uomo: Just don't worry about it. That's all I can suggest.
T15WIT: I come from a line of "worriers"
Capra Sesso Uomo: I've noticed.
T15WIT: So that's like telling a bird not to sing
T15WIT: I also come from the line of "never say the right thing" either
Capra Sesso Uomo: Heh
T15WIT: I hate it when I go into elapses at staring at blank walls without thinking..
T15WIT: but you know that me being at another highschool next year is scaring me too
Capra Sesso Uomo: Another highschool?
T15WIT: I'm gonna hate the future if ms. maxey gets her way
T15WIT: Yes, this is another thing I've been in fear of
T15WIT: Ms. Maxey wants us to not go back to our base schools, she's beginning to think it takes up too much time
Capra Sesso Uomo: Ah, I see. Failing?
T15WIT: And I don't want that
T15WIT: No
Capra Sesso Uomo: Ah
T15WIT: Like, I'll never see you again
T15WIT: nor Dan
T15WIT: nor Ben
T15WIT: nor Patrick
T15WIT: nor People I say "hi" to in hallway
T15WIT: nor anybody I ever used to know
Capra Sesso Uomo: So how exactly would that work?
Capra Sesso Uomo: Besides Ms. Maxey attempting to place you in a dark closet and giving you a Calculus textbook
T15WIT: I don't know yet, best situation would be I do the same I'm doing right now, worst is, they have a bus pick me up where I live from
T15WIT: Oh, we're getting more campus nxt year if that's what you mean
Capra Sesso Uomo: I see.
Capra Sesso Uomo: Just curious, how long are you sticking with SA?
T15WIT: Even I don't know
T15WIT: They'll allow you for four years but..ick
Capra Sesso Uomo: Heh, gotcha
T15WIT: No way, I might go into IB, or perhaps the Academy for Arts
Capra Sesso Uomo: Ah, okay
Capra Sesso Uomo: There are so many little side-programs, I forget what's what
T15WIT: Good
Capra Sesso Uomo: I want to go to whatever the hell they said offered computer courses beyond "typing", but it might be a bit too gradish
T15WIT: IB= International Baccalaureate, its a program started in Switzerland, The only school around here that has it Socastee, so I might just do that
T15WIT: Hmm
Capra Sesso Uomo: I know that
T15WIT: Oh sorry, thought you were asking for an explanation
Capra Sesso Uomo: Meh, for some reason, I've just never been a grade person...
Capra Sesso Uomo: So I can never get into any of these programs
Capra Sesso Uomo: Because they value hard work over learning
T15WIT: I disagree with that
Capra Sesso Uomo: Oh?
Capra Sesso Uomo: Well, give me your shit, then
Capra Sesso Uomo: metaphorically-speaking
T15WIT: although hard work is good and all "builds character" I think understanding the basic concept is much more important
T15WIT: I mean, learning...ah I never was one for arguments, I never win..
Capra Sesso Uomo: I just mean, I've learned almost everything I know about computers from lazy self-study. I don't see how computers and such could be so drastically an alternate from other learning styles.
T15WIT: It just might be, never know till you try
T15WIT: I'm the wrong person to talk about this
Capra Sesso Uomo: Try? I've tried.
T15WIT: How so? I mean, give an example?
Capra Sesso Uomo: We spend 6 months on tired concepts and basic proofs, and the only "learning" occurs at the end
Capra Sesso Uomo: People accept this as the "only" way, because they never try any other methods
T15WIT: They did in the 60's
T15WIT: erm...well, *sounds stupid..again*
Capra Sesso Uomo: Trying to say that the school way is the right way, because it worked for you, is like saying the Holocaust was a good thing, because you weren't involved.
T15WIT: I never said the school way was the right way
Capra Sesso Uomo: And yes, that was a bit of an overdone example
Capra Sesso Uomo: Then what?
Capra Sesso Uomo: And about the 60's method - they didn't change the teaching methods, only the material
Capra Sesso Uomo: And so much for that
Capra Sesso Uomo: School is basically input / output
T15WIT: To be honest I never made it into that stupid "Pelican" thing yet I seemed to be smarter than a whole bunch who did because during halfway through elementary school I started reading books I had at home, which seemed to teach me more than they did at school
T15WIT: Which is why I hated our school's libraries
Capra Sesso Uomo: I was in Pelican the whole time, and I didn't learn anything
Capra Sesso Uomo: Yeah
Capra Sesso Uomo: I've always loathed the library
Capra Sesso Uomo: ** school library
T15WIT: "I'm sorry I didn't read another Nancy Drew Ms. blah blah, I was in the middle of "Great Expectations"..oh..so I shouldn't read it..okay....*mutterfuckyoumutter*
Capra Sesso Uomo: The first year in Middle School, I shot down the top "High School" books on the list, and just got bored from there
T15WIT: okay I actually got with Ryan a fight with our librarian at the middle school
Capra Sesso Uomo: "No, I don't want to read your 34th book about an inspired teenager overcoming diversity. Go away."
Capra Sesso Uomo: Heh, nice
T15WIT: I know, I read Little Women in the sixth grade and found nothing on a "higher lever"
T15WIT: I know
T15WIT: ..ermn
T15WIT: I remember when last year they had this thing where we could ask questions about our school communities or something and Ryan brought up the topic of the library, and Ms. Edge was there and gave him the nastiest look ever
Capra Sesso Uomo: Hehe
T15WIT: It was fun
Capra Sesso Uomo: I bet
T15WIT: I used to come in the morning *rambles on* to the library *nothing of importance* it was great
Capra Sesso Uomo: Hehe
Capra Sesso Uomo: *mumbles something about ponies*
T15WIT: *talks*
Capra Sesso Uomo: I need something to drink. BRB. And don't log-off with a witty comment. :p
T15WIT: Damn.
T15WIT: He knows me too well
T15WIT: How about I make it non-witty?
T15WIT: Or maybe something that makes you think?
T15WIT: Or something suici...nah I'll shut up
Capra Sesso Uomo: Back
T15WIT: *listens*
Capra Sesso Uomo: Sadly, I have nothing to say.
Capra Sesso Uomo: Oh.
Capra Sesso Uomo: I love you.
T15WIT: *wasn't listening for that but okay*
T15WIT: Do you say that now, mechanically or do you still mean it?
T15WIT: nah save that one for another day
Capra Sesso Uomo: I still mean it
T15WIT: Okay
T15WIT: Well, I know if I tell you goodnite that I will be back on remembering something to say but right now I can't think of anything to say either
Capra Sesso Uomo: I'm gonna go, Tory
T15WIT: Allright
Capra Sesso Uomo: I'm sleepy, and have a paper to write
Capra Sesso Uomo: Tommorow
T15WIT: Adieu Carson
Capra Sesso Uomo: So
Capra Sesso Uomo: Adios, Tor'
Capra Sesso Uomo: I love ya, etc and always
T15WIT: I love ya, get to bed