Poptartica

What is wrong with everybody?

Is it just me now that laughs at my jokes?

Am I the only one not changing?


And why is it that lately, whether my day has been good or bad, whenever I get around Carson, I just quickly change to neutral. I show no emotion, although I have tumults of it going on inside me, why is that?

And why is it that I have such a wonderful life? I seem to have one of the best's lifes in the world, why is that? Is there something bad going to happen later in life to make up for it? Or is there some purpose I should do to repay it?


Today, I felt like kicking the shit outta everyone, missed Carson..terribly, misseed the old Sara, missed Ben, felt happier than ever like I had one of the best lives in the world, was contemplative, was silly, wasn't silly, and was just there...

I don't know whether to hug or scorn anyone, nor do I know whether to embrace this life with joy, or to feel pain and sorrow or some shit, why am I getting poetic?


I want to go back to the dance room, oh yeah I was also embarrassed today as well, having girls I used to have dance classes with be the assistant teacher for my dance class, creepy eh? Although, I don't mind too much, I'm not in dance for the competition, I'm in because..well, I love to dance, it's nice. Sorta the same thing with acting, I just love to act, I'm not in it for the money, nor the fame, just cause I like to act, to sing, to dance...yep


French Class was good today too, and yes, I did get a C- on my en...oh shit, I better work on that essay, that'll surely kill this insomnia.

That and I need to burn Carson a Moby Cd...and give him a hug..if I ever get the courage to do it..