Okay, now that that's out of my system, I ...

T15WIT [10:23 PM]: I hate this world, don't you?
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: nah
T15WIT [10:23 PM]: well..just the part in my life on how NOTHING IS FUCKING GOING RIGHT
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: :(
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: well im sorry
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: anything i can do to help?
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: and also how someone up there likes to play extremely evil cruel ironic jokes on me
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: no, nothing here sex boy
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: lemme just rant
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:24 PM]: lmao
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: oh forget it, I'll just go shout to some paper somewhere
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:24 PM]: no its ok
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:24 PM]: i'm listening
T15WIT [10:25 PM]: I don't go to school with other kids, and I only have one friend whom has now made a new friend while my family has taken me away to chicago for two weeks to spend quality time with my family, aka screaming at each other, the "new friend" already dislikes me for some unknown reason
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: On top of that, my parent's are going to get their way with my future, I know damn well
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: and I'm going to be a foriegn exchange student or something
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: They want me to go to all these smart places
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: sure I might be smart
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: but I want to act!
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: I love to act!
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:26 PM]: Follow your dreams, that is your destiny.
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: and instead, I'm probably going to become some damn business shit or something
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: More like follow my parent's unlived dreams
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: =\
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: fuck this world
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: all it takes it money <3
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: You're not the world :p
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: it may sound retarded, but money is the root of all happiness Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: pfft i know im not
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: although you might think you are
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: im just the moon
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: corny
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: i gotta mottot
T15WIT [10:28 PM]: talking to you..isn't helping..
T15WIT [10:28 PM]: thanks! bye!

Carson's prolly glad he wasn't here to have me rant. And you know what? I don't think he likes me anymore. Nope, I think he just wants physical shit, he prolly thinks I'm some bimbo. Hell, why not let it all out? I know by tomorrow he'll read this go.."Oh..god" and I'll think of myself as a bufoon idiot. But it feels good. He's apathetic towards me, and if he isn't he's just horny. Sara, Sara, Sara. I've lost you haven't I? I mean, we'll still be friends, I know we will, but it'll lose quickly. We won't be as "buddy-buddy" maybe we'll just meet in hallways once or twice and say "hi" maybe only that because we'll forget each others names, maybe I was right a long time ago. Although it hurt from the inside, maybe not making friends in the first place would have saved me some great loneliness here. Maybe....I want to do so much, but I want to do it with someone..who understands me. Doesn't take me for a bimbo, although I might have my times. Someone I could talk a lot about to. Not just some acute stuff we have in common, someone whose open to new stuff, also someone who doesn't ridicule ideas I get at three in the morning, I mean, true, some are bad, but not all can..right? Oh god, you just hate me don't you? Curse me with being well-rounded, although it's beautiful to have, it's terrible with relationships, or maybe I'm just using it wrong, who knows? I have to be so negative all the time. And ugly. A..no, no more of that shit, I'm through with that. Oh, look at the time, I'm leaving tomorrow, I better go..goodnite journal, let's hope tomorrow will be better looking for me.