Sunday, August 29, 2004

well, I found something to help cure my boredom, the anarchy section of textfiles..*cough*

Other than that I've been taking those memegen quizzes...


woo.


Okay, anyway, I'm off to eat dinner, besides..now I'm getting sleepy..sorta..school starts tomorrow..eh..

Noooooo!! *cringes*

Dear Blogspot,

I don't want school to start. I also am bored out of my mind, I still have to write the conclusion to my "new essay" but meh. I feel bitchy too, or like I was being a bitch to Carson. I feel...eh. I got everything packed for tomorrow, I'm just bored. Bored bored bored...I drew, I sang, I worked on an essay..haven't watched TV though, prolly nothing good on. And I feel...eh, I mean, nevermind..hopefully this is just PMS..It's a day, we're all gonna get hit by a hurricane category 5, isn't that lovely? My family is at wal-mart..again..and I..I feel restless. Maybe school should start..

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Reminiscing

Tonight
#106826246826837240 posted on 11/7/2003 10:34:28 PM by Carson T "Carson" {@}
Tonight was a polished diamond of a night. That's all I'm saying. No information shall be whored to the masses, edging this diamonds into a ball of rock salt and varous tacky jewelry. I want to remember it as it was. So that's all. Time for some Led Zeppelin, then sleep. Tommorow can take a year, for all I care.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Yes, Dear diary, I've completely gotten off track with my essay. I'm listening to ol' jazz and I'm reminscing of the months with Carson. God, I wish he were here..

An Autumn Romance

Oh.

It seems we're going to get hit by a hurricane tomorrow.

Lervly.


I got a CD btw, and it's called "Torch Songs"


or AKA Jazz songs Tory can sing to.


wee.

Oh and I was writing my essay before my brother came in and I couldn't help but write the obvious in a blogspot entry, of course.

Bye again!
Meh, so here I am stuck again.

I have an essay that needs to be written, my family wants me to watch a movie with them, I need to clean my room or make money, I should study my lines for tomorrow. And you know what? All I want to do is to just spend some time alone with Carson. It's fucking sad that the next time I'll get to do anything with my boyfriend will be on next Friday. And my mom will probably have something planned for me by then, something involving, helping people or something or doing some shitty thing I don't want to do.



Fuck.

Carson? Where are you? Can't you just take me out of this life? It's too time consuming, I'm doing stuff that's planned for me, argh.



Excuse me, I have an essay to write.


*Carson, if you want to...call me..or not..whatever..*

Friday, August 27, 2004

I told myself I would stick around in this life, just in case someone needed me, but it truly doesn't seem like anyone does.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Read Carson's what he calls, "emoish" posts. It's gotten to me, him, I mean. Sometimes he makes me feel like a vile poison to his body, and he revokes and chokes me back out. whoa!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tory, remember to make some lyric involving how "You thought I was a poison when I was actually the medicine" or something like that, it sucks now, but I could see it from some angsty song in a teen punk band..anyway

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like I mentioned before, he hates me, yet he loves me. Maybe my existance is useless. Maybe I shouldn't do anything nice in this life and just live my life. The way I want it. Speaking of that..

I discovered where I want to go.

I want to go to Yale.

Yes, Yale, one of the best drama programs around.

Then I want to leave.

And then move to Ireland.

And maybe be an Irish Soap Star, or perhaps just do something over there..

Who knows.

I don't know if I want children or not, probably not, there's enough people in this world, yet, even if I do think of the possiblity of ever having kids, I want to adopt.

I also want a husband, well, maybe not a "husband" because that might get sickening if ever dealing with paper work..actually..legally wise it might be best to get married, oh hell I don't know, what I mean is, I want someone to share life with. Together. Or something like that.

Carson also made a good point. I'm too wrapped up with myself. I've been thinking about myself too much, I need to do stuff again, I mean, I need to go back to Helping Hands, or Street Reach Ministries, where I used to volunteer all the time. Actually, maybe not Street Reach, that place is kinda creepy. I don't know, I'm getting too much attention. I wish I could let Carson know that I don't think of him as just something to hold, but as also a person who I like to talk to, to consult about..stuff, I think, or just to talk I don't know. I just feel, comfortable around him. Oh nevermind, I'm just gonna leave you with a song diary:


Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times I’ve tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will beI wanna hold you now

I’ve been talking drunken gibberish
Falling in and out of bars
Trying to find some explanation here
For the way some people are
How did it ever come so far

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gotta Love David Gray



Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Scratch that ending, The ending to tonite is this:

I screwed up another conversation with him

And then I left.

I'm still not tired.

I'm a bit...heart broken and disgusted.

Here's the convo to anyone who cares, no one.

Capra Sesso Uomo [11:23 PM]: I knew you'd come back.
Auto response from T15WIT [11:23 PM]: Doing Stuff
Capra Sesso Uomo [11:23 PM]: And I knew you'd be away
T15WIT [11:30 PM]: And I knew that I shouldn't have waited like that
Auto response from Capra Sesso Uomo [11:30 PM]: Doing Stuff.
T15WIT [11:30 PM]: Good
T15WIT [11:30 PM]: Have fun watching the Daily show
Capra Sesso Uomo [11:30 PM]: ...
T15WIT [11:30 PM]: oh no
T15WIT [11:30 PM]: Please, don't be angry with me here
Capra Sesso Uomo [11:30 PM]: Go.
T15WIT [11:30 PM]: I'm not trying to come off as angry or anything
T15WIT [11:31 PM]: No dammit
T15WIT [11:31 PM]: You have no right to tell me to go
T15WIT [11:31 PM]: If you don't want me to say anything to you, I'll just shroud myself like i did before
T15WIT [11:32 PM]: And don't start a conversation and then tell me to leave
T15WIT [11:32 PM]: I'll go now.


And I will.

Hmm

my night:

9:30ish..

I screwed up a convo with Carson

I get offline

I go to room

My stomache churns, I look at empty space where I see a boy holding a girl and I hear a voice saying "he's moved on" *I know, nothing to do with Carson*

I cry

I cry some more

I get disgusted at myself for crying at things that aren't there

I go back online

I write a post on blogspot saying emoish stuff

I turn off the comp.

I go back to bathroom, wash face, change into PJ's etc.

I go back to my room

I see the tissues

I think "Oh god, he's going to think I'm a nut."

I turn on comp.

I change original post to what I just really meant to say

I sit..waiting to get courage to say something to him

he leaves

I turn off comp.

I go to room

A rush of anger surges through me

I start kicking the bed

I can't sleep.

I go downstairs, knock on mom's bathroom door.

I ask her for something to make me sleepy

She tells me to go do some sit ups and mentions how I'm a spastic teen.

I walk past TV with dad sitting there

I see daily show with John Kerry

I sit and watch

I get my fix of politics

I leave while muttering "It's all bull shit to me."

I go back online hoping to see him online.

I yawn.

I have a feeling I'll be waiting a bit, and then I'll go to bed.

I write a post. *this one..nvm*

I turn off comp without saying a word to him.

And I try to sleep.

I wake up.

But of course, that's for tomorrow.
I love you.


That's all I meant to say.


Thank you.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Still feels like something's missing...

Maybe It's Compassion?

Nah..

Maybe it's coolness?

Nah, I'm always cool...

Perchance it might be any schoolwork?

Nope, I'm good.


Study your lines?

Yeah

Carson?

I'm thinkin' it's that, but I hope not..

Have you stopped and smelled the roses lately?

Ya know..I haven't! I need to tend to my rose garden! Oh wait, those mexicans came by and already did take care of that when I was in Chicago..oh well, I'll go check on them again..

Anything else?

God I miss Carson

Yeah, we know..

Shh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well...I'm off to go eat a breakfast, smell a rose, and read my lines, all the while I won't be thinking a damn thing that has any connection to the above. Oh well..

Friday, August 20, 2004

Well, my hot bath turned into a luke-warm shower, but I made up for that with a new "What Not To Wear" and a manual pedicure. Now I'm just sucking in the heat vapors of my tea, waiting for Carson to get off his away message so I can let him know I love him. Of course, the perfect ending to this nite would be being in his arms, but yeah, I'll live with telling him that I miss him. I can just imagine being in his arms..or something..yeah, he's back, bye for now.
Whatever it is that's wrong with me I've decided to just take a hot bath, get some hot tea, and go to bed and hope it'll all be okay in the morning..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She runs away

Something's not quite right..

When autumn comes,
It doesn't ask,
It just walks in where it left you last,
You never know when it starts,
Until there's a fog inside the glass around,
your summer heart.

-"Something's Missing"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like something isn't quite right. And to be honest, like the song above, I do feel like something is misssing, but what? I don't know, I seem to be normal, I just feel all weird on the inside. Hopefully it's just PMS, or some bad food or something and it'll go away quickly. Fall is coming, I can feel it. I'm happy. But still can't shake off something..maybe it's that thing I was going to tell Carson but forgot and I still can't remember. What's wrong with me? Oh well, it's not like I'm going to see some shriek of anything.

Hmm...Seems I have a knack for being online when no one of importance is..

So, I'm home alone, you would expect me to be out dancing naked to some song or at least making my usual ceremonial sacrifice to Ms. Piggy. Yet, here I am instead, just finished compiling all my photos and putting them in a lovely little scrapbook doing absolutely nothing. I think I'm going to go work on Siddhartha, or at least get some meatloaf. Peace out for now, fools.
alright, Carson, I give up. I rarely ever do it, but I did tonite, I really, really am tired, I woke up at eight this morning and had insomniac trouble the night before, I'm sleepy. I love you, and I'm sorry.

Goodnite my someone
Goodnite my love

-some broadway play no one remembers



Thursday, August 19, 2004

Went to Bed at 2, and woke up at 8

Since reading Siddhartha, I've gotten quieter. Plus, I've always never really been opinionated or at least try to tell someone "No, you're wrong" because I've always thought that, honestly we don't know anything. Next, I apologize to Carson for my little odd self last night when I was hyper, or something. Ignore that, please. Now, I'm going to French, I'm going to get a bookbag, my cousins are coming into town. I hope something is wrong with me, like I'm sick, so maybe there's an answer to why I've been feeling very weird all of a sudden. Saw a guy friend from drama camp at the chik-fil-a. He's nice, but such a player it isn't funny. oh well, one less friend. And, yes Ben, I did buy a photobook with a picture of the eifiel *sp? ohwell* tower on the cover, and it holds my Australia photos, I dun care what it looks like on the outside so Nyah! :p other than that I best be going to do stuff or something or other. Yeah. God, I feel...werid, bye

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

hmm..I haven't checked on Maddox for a while...


Today was a day. Autumn is coming I can feel it. Now let's see..my sins for today..um..I lied, to Carson, he asked about my feelings and I lied and said it was blah, um..I did a bad thing and this afternoon I took all my sister's undies and hid them everywhere in her room, it's like an easter egg hunt, but in an odd way. lesse..oh, i slammed the door on my brother's toe, oh well, that was an honest mistake. Hmm, I feel..I don't know, different, I feel calm, like I've grown to a peace with myself, I was very quiet today except for my mischievious with Miranda. I think I'm going to rest. I feel..I don't know, I'll give up on explaining it now. I'm going goodnite world.

I love you, whoever you are.

Goodnite, adieu.
Weird dream involving me being a soapstar, Carson being a writer and I think Chinese Take-0ut, maybe kung pow chicken, I can't remember.

...that's all I got.

Anyway, other than that, I better get my ass back in action with Siddhartha...

*flies off*

Away!

Monday, August 16, 2004

Fun Times At RidgeMont High

Innocent
Innocent


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla


Regular
You're an every day average girl. You aren't
amongst the popular crowd, but you are
definatly far from being a geek. You are
probably pretty, but not gorgeous. You have a
fair amount of friends, but each one of them
means the world to you. Keep them close and
don't change yourself.

Rate a 5 to see a picture of a hott guy... Send me
a message!


What type of girl are you? (many outcomes and awesome pics)
brought to you by Quizilla



My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!


Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say
Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."


What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
HASH(0x8908188)
You have a Lost Soul. No one is really sure what
that can always mean, because it can be defined
in many ways. As Legend goes, lost souls were
the spirits of passed away people who are
neither in heaven nor hell. They walk the
earth, brooding mysteriously, always appearing
when you expect it least. So hence, if you have
a Lost Soul, then you are probably very
insecure and shy. Stuck in your own little box,
you watch the world fly by as a loner. You dont
know your place. You seemingly dont have a
place in society or an interest. You are a very
capricious person, and are confused and
frustrated about where you belong. You crave
for the sense and feeling of home-but have not
obtained it yet.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla


You're Sensitive and you'd like to stay that way..
-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Siren
You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a
voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and
sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes
shipwrecks find you and raving men want you.
You are a bottle of talent and power. What the
unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You
have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a
very few of you, what a rare find. Will you
rate my quiz, I think your voice in just
beautiful?


What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The Strange Attractor
Category VI - The Strange
Attractor


Though you're not quite sure why, people are drawn
to you like moths to a flame. You really
are too cool for words.


What Type of Social Entity are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay, as you can see, I’ve been busy on quizilla, and now I will rest..or think of Carson..whichever..oh the above quiz does prove I’m awesomely awesome. Thank you.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Help me out here
all my words are falling short
and there's so much I want to say.
Wanna tell you just how good it feels
when you look at me that way

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay, My family is watching the women gymnastics with the Olympics, while here I am a bowl of double fudge brownie ice cream and listening to a compilation of my lonely music, here's what they are:

"Please Forgive Me" David Gray

"Come Away With Me" Norah Jones

"Saint Patrick's Day" John Mayer

"Daylight" Duncan Shiek

"Mercury Falls" Sting

"Reveries" Duncan Shiek

"I Don't know Why" Norah Jones

"Fields Of Gold" Sting

And some others...boy I think I'm going to go draw..
7
LOVING ONE. You need safety in your relationship.
You want to be sure in his/her arms, knowing
that he will protect you and you can be totally
devoted to your other. At this point you are
very vulnerable. You open yourself and dont
even think that he/she could cheat you. You
totally trust your partner in every single way.
SO if you find out that she/he lied to you or
played a game this trust is broken. You may try
to forgive your other but this will be very
difficult.He/She has to be friendly and
trustworthy.PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always message me or tell me how I can
improve that quiz. Ill sure write back.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

Yep, I'm lonely again...

I think I'm going to go get some double fudge brownie ice cream..






Ah, poop. Carson isn't even on at this hour, well I hope he's resting well. I couldn't sleep last night, and this is...the third time I've woken up and seemed to have had trouble going back to sleep since my last post. I talked to Dan, I forget what conversation we had, something about a Dance Dance Revoloution competition, to which, in the end, I told him he'd win because I've only played it once or twice and not as much as he had, to which he replied with an emoticon of joy and glee (^.^) anyway. Oh yeah, I think I also asked him what was he going to do with his life..yeah, it got very quiet around those times, anywho, no one's on right now, so maybe I'll just try to go back to sleep....And, Carson, if I'm not on what seems morning, it's because I'll probably be at church, in Ms. Frankie's Room..throwing cookies at Spike. Yup...well, adieu!

Saturday, August 14, 2004

hav

Please forgive me if I acted strange,
For I know not what I do,
Feels like lightning running through my veins,
Everytime I look at you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.physorg.com/news785.html

Wow. That's all I have to say to that, I love that webbie btw, lotsa good articles.


Other than that my room is changed now, I changed it, got a mirror, and a new desk chair, and a new desk, yeah, and got rid of some crap, I might take pics of it later and post it, woo. but for now I'ma workin' hard. And trying not to think of someone...ack

Righto, just had to put out some poetry and that new webbie, I'll talk later when I'm not in limbo.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

http://www.amda.edu/

So, it looks..well, interesting, I could be out of there by the age of 19, which could jump my career. But, it seems like that school/college is for more people who want to be on Broadway. I don't have that kind of voice. I'd rather act. So, I dunno. I heard that Yale had a very good drama program as well, but the course is rigorous. I know sometime mom is going to get a book full of colleges for me to check out. Ack. There's only thirteen sophmores going this year. Can you believe that? I found out because this morning I was helping Ms. Maxey unload shit into a new room of ours. Then, I also found out that other than reading two novels..I'm supposed to do a double entry journal on one of them....yeah, I know, I should be working right now..in fact, I will, I don't think I'll be on all tonite, but I probably will. anywho, I'm off, adieu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a moon over Bourbon Street tonight
I see faces as they pass beneath the pale lamplight
I've no choice but to follow that call
The bright lights, the people, and the moon and all

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Okay, now that that's out of my system, I ...

T15WIT [10:23 PM]: I hate this world, don't you?
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: nah
T15WIT [10:23 PM]: well..just the part in my life on how NOTHING IS FUCKING GOING RIGHT
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: :(
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: well im sorry
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:23 PM]: anything i can do to help?
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: and also how someone up there likes to play extremely evil cruel ironic jokes on me
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: no, nothing here sex boy
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: lemme just rant
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:24 PM]: lmao
T15WIT [10:24 PM]: oh forget it, I'll just go shout to some paper somewhere
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:24 PM]: no its ok
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:24 PM]: i'm listening
T15WIT [10:25 PM]: I don't go to school with other kids, and I only have one friend whom has now made a new friend while my family has taken me away to chicago for two weeks to spend quality time with my family, aka screaming at each other, the "new friend" already dislikes me for some unknown reason
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: On top of that, my parent's are going to get their way with my future, I know damn well
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: and I'm going to be a foriegn exchange student or something
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: They want me to go to all these smart places
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: sure I might be smart
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: but I want to act!
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: I love to act!
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:26 PM]: Follow your dreams, that is your destiny.
T15WIT [10:26 PM]: and instead, I'm probably going to become some damn business shit or something
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: More like follow my parent's unlived dreams
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: =\
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: fuck this world
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: all it takes it money <3
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: You're not the world :p
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: it may sound retarded, but money is the root of all happiness Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: pfft i know im not
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: although you might think you are
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: im just the moon
T15WIT [10:27 PM]: corny
Ub3rb00n7331 [10:27 PM]: i gotta mottot
T15WIT [10:28 PM]: talking to you..isn't helping..
T15WIT [10:28 PM]: thanks! bye!

Carson's prolly glad he wasn't here to have me rant. And you know what? I don't think he likes me anymore. Nope, I think he just wants physical shit, he prolly thinks I'm some bimbo. Hell, why not let it all out? I know by tomorrow he'll read this go.."Oh..god" and I'll think of myself as a bufoon idiot. But it feels good. He's apathetic towards me, and if he isn't he's just horny. Sara, Sara, Sara. I've lost you haven't I? I mean, we'll still be friends, I know we will, but it'll lose quickly. We won't be as "buddy-buddy" maybe we'll just meet in hallways once or twice and say "hi" maybe only that because we'll forget each others names, maybe I was right a long time ago. Although it hurt from the inside, maybe not making friends in the first place would have saved me some great loneliness here. Maybe....I want to do so much, but I want to do it with someone..who understands me. Doesn't take me for a bimbo, although I might have my times. Someone I could talk a lot about to. Not just some acute stuff we have in common, someone whose open to new stuff, also someone who doesn't ridicule ideas I get at three in the morning, I mean, true, some are bad, but not all can..right? Oh god, you just hate me don't you? Curse me with being well-rounded, although it's beautiful to have, it's terrible with relationships, or maybe I'm just using it wrong, who knows? I have to be so negative all the time. And ugly. A..no, no more of that shit, I'm through with that. Oh, look at the time, I'm leaving tomorrow, I better go..goodnite journal, let's hope tomorrow will be better looking for me.
ARGH!! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! I HATE YOU CRUEL WORLD! I HATE YOU! I WANT TO GO HOME! I WANT MY BOYFRIEND! I WANT MY BESTFRIEND! I WANT MY BED! I WANT AWAY FROM HERE NOW! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!


I hate you. I hate you so much I don't even know who you are, just someone who likes to mess with my mind.

None of this is turning out right, I don't want this from life. What happened? I don't want this! I want my life! I'm losing my best friend..I'm out of the loop at home, I'll always be out of the loop. I'll always be alone no matter where I go. Is that my joke in life? Always feeling alone no matter where I go? That's cruel. That's hideous. That's just evil. I hate you. I HATE YOU!!!!

Friday, August 06, 2004

Shades of grey
On a winter’s day
Your soul I still can see
It was as empty as a storybook
That was written for me


Sulky shadows surround us
As we sit and watch the gloom
We drift apart though close together
Awaiting each his doom


Of course, there is music that goes to it, anyway, shitty poetry of the day, came to me at 1:00 AM this morning so I decided to write it down for god knows why. I better not write much, talk later blogger, bye!

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Well, turns out my father's flight is not an 11 AM flight to O'hare, but more like a 11 PM flight to Midway...yeah, so I get easily confused with things and perhaps I should "communicate" more, oh well. My grandmother is a nutcase. I love her. I have to go paint an outside deck now two shades of brown *both are ghastly* (but it was grandmother's choice). It scared me, I woke up and at breakfast I meant to say something but it came out in a chicago accent...that isn't good.

Anywho, off to paint!

Away!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

So, here I am in Chicago..actually right now, I'm technically in a suburbia known as "Streamwood" but still, it's very close to the city. I've only been in the city a few times, but I love it. I love all the small little delis, the weirdos, all the indie house movie theatres that are cheap and have showings that start at midnite and end at six in the morning for only three dollars. I like the big city, I like the huge assortment of cultures and people. Although, I'll probably never live in one, mostly because of high rent, and maybe a twinge of fear of getting mugged/raped. Still, the city has it's ups and downs, and it's all very pretty. Dad told me over the phone about school, and this is what he has for me, first choice is art and chorus, second choice is culinary arts and drivers ed. Culinary arts sounds interesting to me, I didn't even know they had that, but dad said he found it in some "book" and that he thought it suited me, I don't really even know what first and second choice are, but all the choices sound pretty good to me. My cousin burned me his yellowcard CD which is allright, but he got really mad at me when I mentioned how Likin Park doesn't seem to technically "sing" but more like "whine and scream like the little wussies they are" which, like I said, made him not talk to me the rest of the day I was with him. I wonder if Carson will get mad if I go see Napoleon Dynamite without him..mom told me that we could go to a matinee today to see it because we're being hit by storms so there's nothing for us to work on, on the outside I mean. And my grandmother is cool because she likes indie house. Which is awesome! And Carson's online..so I leave here..adieu!