Holey Shite it's Friday already
hmmm...what did I do last friday
oh yeah
SO
I worked that Wednesday and Thursday, and Kris a thiry something best buddy of james..
Kris- married James' older sister Kira. She was 18, he was 26..(?) They did a couple of menage a trois which eventually led to a divorce. Kira is now with Kelly and has two children. Kris is single and lonely but glad he is no longer with Kira..I think. Plus, he is now a manager at a beauty supply shop seeing that he is a hairstylist (and now a licensed cosmetician) and is happy with that (his company just gave him a cruise to Cozumel which he enjoyed greatly)
Kris had to stop by the southeastern headquarters of the beauty supply shop which is right across the street from where we live. While waiting on picking up James from work around six, Kris and I decide to stop at the Book Dispensary (A "Living Room" without the coffee shop, only better aka I found a 1920's chemistry textbook from harvard that has lotsa nifty things in it). There is a new girl behind the counter and next thing I know Kris is flirting all out on this chick. I walk away looking at the books when Kris walks out with a complete Dune original series and a signed book that was fifty dollars. Next thing I know he's telling me in the car how he paid ten dollars for the lot of it and a haircut. A haircut? Yes, the girl he was flirting with needed a haircut, and Kris had the tools to do it. He was also looking for a potential relationship/sex. So we pick up James from work and get a call from this girl asking if we'd like to eat out first, and then we're at this small ale house from the 1800's (old brick and everything seat yourself bar wench kinda deal) and there is a great little jazz band in the corner and the three of us discover that this woman is a) not the brightest bulb on the marquee and b)annoying beyond belief. It soon started when the let us all know how much of a veagan she was (Kris, by the by is a carnivore and ordered a meat platter before she ordered her ceasar dressing hold the cheese salad) She was an english major at USC, and, of course, finds herself in an argument over something with James who keeps trying to bring it back to Kris, but no, she keeps wanting to flirt with/argue with him. She has also had several glasses of white wine in her system (turns out she's 25). After this whole ordeal at the hunter gatherer (which I should go back to, made a mean sausage and peppers) James and I decide that since the haircut has been planned at our house (She offered our house "I have pot!") we're going to let Kris drive back with her, so he can help her with directions. Car ride, james describes how much he don't think he can stand her or her overbearing perfume (which did manage to find my nostrils across a bar room), and we're at our house. Now, mind you, we don't have any chairs. Hell, our "dinner table" is an old trunk of James' that holds all of our movies, but we make due. We have one rolly chair that is half broken, and we pull out a bedsheet on the ground underneath it to catch the hair. I realize that I stil have half a bottle of merlot left in the fridge from thanksgiving (drunken vegetables...everyone was pretty crazy that nite) that I offer her and she sips the whole thing from a plastic teacup my mom gave me from a garage sale. She's sitting there, and Kris is about to cut her hair when I ask the wrong question "Do you ususally come to stranger's home and drink liquids?" aka I mean, well, c'mon you'd have to be well anyway. So there it is. A stranger girl/woman moaning in the middle of our living room floor while Kris is cutting away at her hair, and I begin to ask questions from a mensa puzzle book. This will explain her brillance: james asks the question "what food do you throw away the outside, eat the inside, eat the outside, throw away the inside?" instaneously I say loud enough for I thought everyone to hear "an ear of corn?" and james nods and is about to grab another one when the girl goes "oo, this is tough, um" thirty minutes later "oh oh wait! an olive? no...hmm.....I know! An Onion! Oh yes yes an onion!" and james utterly miserable at this point goes.. "Yes, an onion can fit that" and by then she's finished with her haircut, and gives Kris 30 dollars for the haircut because she is not sober, and I'm worried cause she's driving home, but later Kris is like "well if they find her, she'll have a beautiful haircut" (which it was) So here's Kris. He made twenty bucks and basically also got a load of books for free. So where do we go? Correct, Barnes and Noble. We came home crashing after that one. Now, the girl did invite us to a party after the haircut, but even though it was eight we let her know how much sleep we didn't get last night (of course, we never sleep, but eh)
wow, i'm talking alot, oh well.
Last night I was in Agusta, GA; because James dad was in town for teaching plumbing. Got james an interview with plumbing people in Columbia. We drove an hour, found him , went to a Dennys, drove back. It was a nice night.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Tu es ma ange.
I gotta get outta here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So. My life: I work as a banquet server, so far my most recent evening was catering to a "Life Giving Order Ministry's Christmas Gala" which featured a reverened from the Bahamas and a Prophetess who is unmarried to them even though they have about 13 children. The most awkward part of the evening is when they were giving a sermon and half way through the "reverend" says "and when the white man calls you nigga" and hearing a buncha "amens" and "hallelujahs" and then you realize that you are the only caucasian in a sea of 250 brown (and black) folk. I also like the table of mexican/puerto ricans that they acknolweged by saying "hey zeus" sometimes for their benefits. That was also the first time I saw people having seizures on the dance floor. *Sidenote: unlike my church where we had soloists and sometimes sign languagists to songs, this group had mimes. That's right, full mime gear, kinda cool.
I like working for the Clarion and Pridestaff, but I need to think about what the hell I am doing with my life.
Christmas day was nothing but sex and video games and cuddling. Well spent if you ask me. I made stuffed mushrooms, but they failed. We also had breakfast at a packed waffle house. Christmas eve was great because in the middle of watching a Christmas Story (I picked that one at Ed's a dollar video store across the street from us, jaime picked the last mimzy which was a helluva alot better than I expected) I realized I ate waaay too much and I felt like I was gonna retch. Next thing I know I'm half awake and crying and saying that I'm gonna be fat. And james is going "damn girl, you ate more than me! you ate a whole pizza and 3 strudels!" he then proceeded to calm me down by letting me know that I was just stuffed and that I'm not going to be fat and then I cried back the whole time saying "But why? Why did I eat all of that?" (That being half of an apple and gorgonzola cheese pizza and the other half of a red baron mexican supreme pizza which is basically nachos on a pizza crust)
On the 18th of December my parents gave me stuff I bought when I moved here to Columbia like sponges, and spoons, and brownie mix. No vacuum, no gun. On the plus side, they are paying for my school tuition which if four grand. Due to my scholarships, the end total is 2 grand, so the other two I am putting forth for car insurance *coughjiffylubecough*. James and I are coming out ahead, even if we are giving Brittany money all the time (last "gift" was 350) It's just money right?
Which reminds me, I don't know where I'm headed next. All I know is this:
I want to see the world.
Going to the Oscars in blue jeans would be nice.
I like acting.
I want to be with James no matter what.
and James plans are:
See the world.
Snuggle with Tory.
So we have no idea where the hell we're going. Maybe we should buy a map and some darts....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So. My life: I work as a banquet server, so far my most recent evening was catering to a "Life Giving Order Ministry's Christmas Gala" which featured a reverened from the Bahamas and a Prophetess who is unmarried to them even though they have about 13 children. The most awkward part of the evening is when they were giving a sermon and half way through the "reverend" says "and when the white man calls you nigga" and hearing a buncha "amens" and "hallelujahs" and then you realize that you are the only caucasian in a sea of 250 brown (and black) folk. I also like the table of mexican/puerto ricans that they acknolweged by saying "hey zeus" sometimes for their benefits. That was also the first time I saw people having seizures on the dance floor. *Sidenote: unlike my church where we had soloists and sometimes sign languagists to songs, this group had mimes. That's right, full mime gear, kinda cool.
I like working for the Clarion and Pridestaff, but I need to think about what the hell I am doing with my life.
Christmas day was nothing but sex and video games and cuddling. Well spent if you ask me. I made stuffed mushrooms, but they failed. We also had breakfast at a packed waffle house. Christmas eve was great because in the middle of watching a Christmas Story (I picked that one at Ed's a dollar video store across the street from us, jaime picked the last mimzy which was a helluva alot better than I expected) I realized I ate waaay too much and I felt like I was gonna retch. Next thing I know I'm half awake and crying and saying that I'm gonna be fat. And james is going "damn girl, you ate more than me! you ate a whole pizza and 3 strudels!" he then proceeded to calm me down by letting me know that I was just stuffed and that I'm not going to be fat and then I cried back the whole time saying "But why? Why did I eat all of that?" (That being half of an apple and gorgonzola cheese pizza and the other half of a red baron mexican supreme pizza which is basically nachos on a pizza crust)
On the 18th of December my parents gave me stuff I bought when I moved here to Columbia like sponges, and spoons, and brownie mix. No vacuum, no gun. On the plus side, they are paying for my school tuition which if four grand. Due to my scholarships, the end total is 2 grand, so the other two I am putting forth for car insurance *coughjiffylubecough*. James and I are coming out ahead, even if we are giving Brittany money all the time (last "gift" was 350) It's just money right?
Which reminds me, I don't know where I'm headed next. All I know is this:
I want to see the world.
Going to the Oscars in blue jeans would be nice.
I like acting.
I want to be with James no matter what.
and James plans are:
See the world.
Snuggle with Tory.
So we have no idea where the hell we're going. Maybe we should buy a map and some darts....
Friday, December 14, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Textbook Prices
Textbook I paid for from the bookstore for this semester: $162.44
Refund prices from school: $30.00
Refund prices from amazon.com (if I choose to sell and if anyone buys): $97.00
Never again shall I buy from the school. Well, I knew that before, but I was too busy moving in the apartment and being with James for the first time in a long time to really notice. But now....ah.
Refund prices from school: $30.00
Refund prices from amazon.com (if I choose to sell and if anyone buys): $97.00
Never again shall I buy from the school. Well, I knew that before, but I was too busy moving in the apartment and being with James for the first time in a long time to really notice. But now....ah.
Friday, December 07, 2007
The "Scoop"
Hi Tory's Mom,
Hey, what's the scoop on Girl Tory Went to School With (Debbie's daughter)? She contacted Friend from gradeschool who movied in the fourth grade whose name begins with J and told her she was so excited she found her best friend from years ago. They played together from time to time, but were never best friends. J even admits it's a bit odd. She just seems to be coming on very strong. She even emailed (myspace) J's best friend, Shawna, and told her she was J's best friend from Myrtle Beach. Odd. She also told J she is doing very well financially. Worked at the Doll House for awhile making $700.00 a night. Now attends Coastal Carolina. What happened to that shy little Grade School Girl I knew from Girl Scouts and TLC???!!
She told J that Dawn (Somebody Else Tory went to School with's mom) is getting a divorce. Her husband is the one that works, or worked, at Allen's auto.
Friend of Tory's Mom
~~~~~~~
Is it wrong that my initial thought was "700 a night ain't bad..hmm"?
Honestly, my parents disgust me, I have no idea why they send me this shit.
Oh, I'm a banquet server now, pretty cool I guess, makes 8-11 an hour depending on who it is. Going to the Clarion tomorrow on Gervais. I'm sleepy...
Oh, and thank god that semester is finished with
Predicted Grades:
SOCY-B
ECON-C
MART 110- A
MART 210- A
PHIL- A/B+++
Hey, what's the scoop on Girl Tory Went to School With (Debbie's daughter)? She contacted Friend from gradeschool who movied in the fourth grade whose name begins with J and told her she was so excited she found her best friend from years ago. They played together from time to time, but were never best friends. J even admits it's a bit odd. She just seems to be coming on very strong. She even emailed (myspace) J's best friend, Shawna, and told her she was J's best friend from Myrtle Beach. Odd. She also told J she is doing very well financially. Worked at the Doll House for awhile making $700.00 a night. Now attends Coastal Carolina. What happened to that shy little Grade School Girl I knew from Girl Scouts and TLC???!!
She told J that Dawn (Somebody Else Tory went to School with's mom) is getting a divorce. Her husband is the one that works, or worked, at Allen's auto.
Friend of Tory's Mom
~~~~~~~
Is it wrong that my initial thought was "700 a night ain't bad..hmm"?
Honestly, my parents disgust me, I have no idea why they send me this shit.
Oh, I'm a banquet server now, pretty cool I guess, makes 8-11 an hour depending on who it is. Going to the Clarion tomorrow on Gervais. I'm sleepy...
Oh, and thank god that semester is finished with
Predicted Grades:
SOCY-B
ECON-C
MART 110- A
MART 210- A
PHIL- A/B+++
Monday, November 12, 2007
Cons About Life
-somebody spilled soda on my macbook two weeks ago. Little did I know that I should have taken out the battery instead of setting on it's side hoping it would drain. Now I have no Macbook that would either cost $750 in repairs or I could just buy a new one for a grand. Or I could just live off the school system which I have been doing for the past two weeks. Only now do I have a brand new has never been touched printer/scanner, ipod, and leather carrying case for a laptop.
-There is now $580 in the bank. No job yet in my sights, might have to do it as soon as semester is over. James is working overtime at his job.
-I fucking hate Columbia and USC with a passion.
-My parents never fail to rub anything in my face about life.
-Since my auto insurance is dropping me Dec. 12th because a somebody at Jiffy Lube pulled my car improperly into the area where they do oil changes (My car dropped through a net and sat halfway through Jiffy Lube's basement and a towing service pulled it out with minor scratches), I am now currently searching for auto insurance. Every six months I paid $802, the lowest offer I am receiving right now is $2232 for six months.
-My jumpdrive Mr. Gilbert gave me in the tenth grade has gone M.I.A. It had four scripts on it and a cornucopia of old AIM conversations.
-My life is a mess and I cry once a day or so.
Pros About Life
-I have him.
- I make a mean cornbread.
-somebody spilled soda on my macbook two weeks ago. Little did I know that I should have taken out the battery instead of setting on it's side hoping it would drain. Now I have no Macbook that would either cost $750 in repairs or I could just buy a new one for a grand. Or I could just live off the school system which I have been doing for the past two weeks. Only now do I have a brand new has never been touched printer/scanner, ipod, and leather carrying case for a laptop.
-There is now $580 in the bank. No job yet in my sights, might have to do it as soon as semester is over. James is working overtime at his job.
-I fucking hate Columbia and USC with a passion.
-My parents never fail to rub anything in my face about life.
-Since my auto insurance is dropping me Dec. 12th because a somebody at Jiffy Lube pulled my car improperly into the area where they do oil changes (My car dropped through a net and sat halfway through Jiffy Lube's basement and a towing service pulled it out with minor scratches), I am now currently searching for auto insurance. Every six months I paid $802, the lowest offer I am receiving right now is $2232 for six months.
-My jumpdrive Mr. Gilbert gave me in the tenth grade has gone M.I.A. It had four scripts on it and a cornucopia of old AIM conversations.
-My life is a mess and I cry once a day or so.
Pros About Life
-I have him.
- I make a mean cornbread.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
there is about 150 left. we've both got to get a job, he'll be workin two i'll be takin up one. life isn't working out financially
but everything else is pretty good.
electricity will be low because it's nice enough weather to just open the windows. rent will always be the same as my phone bill. i'm okay with eating cereal and ramen for a long time.
it will all work out soon, this I know.
but everything else is pretty good.
electricity will be low because it's nice enough weather to just open the windows. rent will always be the same as my phone bill. i'm okay with eating cereal and ramen for a long time.
it will all work out soon, this I know.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
I think I'm gonna cry
Holy shit. We had a philosophy exam today?
Dammit, and it's all that probability shit about dice and mathematics.
oh god, I'm failing all my classes.
I think I'm going to cry
well no
actually not
but I'm pissed at myself that my scholarship money will disappear because of this.
Dammit, and it's all that probability shit about dice and mathematics.
oh god, I'm failing all my classes.
I think I'm going to cry
well no
actually not
but I'm pissed at myself that my scholarship money will disappear because of this.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
that quiet numbing feeling
Ow.
owowowowowowowow.
these arms are to heavy to lift, and i can barely keep my head up.
One day I'll write a song for you
about how i felt
in that second floor bathroom stall.
owowowowowowowow.
these arms are to heavy to lift, and i can barely keep my head up.
One day I'll write a song for you
about how i felt
in that second floor bathroom stall.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
So this can all be summed up with
"Holy Moo Cows I have a terrible headache."
Blew three grand, two of it went to my parents.
500 went to this phone deposit.
and now the quest for car insurance ensues
and a job
I hate this place.
well no, maybe I don't hate college. I should give it more of a shot.
Just
I understand what he meant with "Weak"
"Holy Moo Cows I have a terrible headache."
Blew three grand, two of it went to my parents.
500 went to this phone deposit.
and now the quest for car insurance ensues
and a job
I hate this place.
well no, maybe I don't hate college. I should give it more of a shot.
Just
I understand what he meant with "Weak"
Friday, August 10, 2007
Giddy
5 more days!
ready to count?
Saturday- Legs waxed, see Catherine at comedy show
Sunday- Mom comes into town, Dinner with Chuck and Robin
Monday- Work! Sweet joyous work (aka, another 200 which means this summer paid me a grand)
Tuesday- Who knows, I'm with mom, we'll live it up.
Wednesday- jamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesandranchcheesefriesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesandsaraandeveroneelsetoojamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesohandfamily.
ready to count?
Saturday- Legs waxed, see Catherine at comedy show
Sunday- Mom comes into town, Dinner with Chuck and Robin
Monday- Work! Sweet joyous work (aka, another 200 which means this summer paid me a grand)
Tuesday- Who knows, I'm with mom, we'll live it up.
Wednesday- jamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesandranchcheesefriesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesandsaraandeveroneelsetoojamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesjamesohandfamily.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
A Sidenote on Life
Tory,
you drank 2.5 liter's of Natural wheat ale with a 5.5% alchol by volume content.
The 18 year old Chinese boy drank .75 L
The 28 year old Korean drank 1 L
and the 48 year old Japanese man drank 2 L.
You out drank them all.
and now,
they are all drunk.
and you still remain sober (although I will admit that I feel if I drank any more I would be at least tipsy)
you are not horny.
you are possibly sleepy, but that might have something to do with the fact that A) you did not sleep alot last night and B) you have had a long day.
Nothing feels strange or odd (like the people in a drunken stupor are acting like)
the other three have decided to go smoke some mary jane in the barn
the 16 year old boy went to bed one hour ago deciding to not touch alcohol
and the korean seriously wished he could fuck you.
Now, you are going upstairs to read/fall asleep.
lock your door just in case, you're in the catskills with no communication what so ever.
...
..and you don't really like japanese food
..
and out of the 13 fish caught, you can claim two bluefin's and three catfish to your name.
g'nite.
you drank 2.5 liter's of Natural wheat ale with a 5.5% alchol by volume content.
The 18 year old Chinese boy drank .75 L
The 28 year old Korean drank 1 L
and the 48 year old Japanese man drank 2 L.
You out drank them all.
and now,
they are all drunk.
and you still remain sober (although I will admit that I feel if I drank any more I would be at least tipsy)
you are not horny.
you are possibly sleepy, but that might have something to do with the fact that A) you did not sleep alot last night and B) you have had a long day.
Nothing feels strange or odd (like the people in a drunken stupor are acting like)
the other three have decided to go smoke some mary jane in the barn
the 16 year old boy went to bed one hour ago deciding to not touch alcohol
and the korean seriously wished he could fuck you.
Now, you are going upstairs to read/fall asleep.
lock your door just in case, you're in the catskills with no communication what so ever.
...
..and you don't really like japanese food
..
and out of the 13 fish caught, you can claim two bluefin's and three catfish to your name.
g'nite.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
You know,
I've called you a total of six times.
You've never attempted a call to me.
This whole summer.
I gave up on Ben, one phone call to him...
...would it fucking kill you to say "hi"?
I stopped calling, because I'm sick of being the one trying to keep some relationship together.
I guess this is a nice way of you letting me know that our friendship would not have lasted in college.
..so maybe I won't visit Charleston as much as I thought..
~~~~~~~
I'm selfish, and a pig. Rereading this and I know you are just busy all summer running around with movies and work (work really) and Ems.
Sorry, I just got a bit lonely and selfish and took it out on you, Sara.
I've called you a total of six times.
You've never attempted a call to me.
This whole summer.
I gave up on Ben, one phone call to him...
...would it fucking kill you to say "hi"?
I stopped calling, because I'm sick of being the one trying to keep some relationship together.
I guess this is a nice way of you letting me know that our friendship would not have lasted in college.
..so maybe I won't visit Charleston as much as I thought..
~~~~~~~
I'm selfish, and a pig. Rereading this and I know you are just busy all summer running around with movies and work (work really) and Ems.
Sorry, I just got a bit lonely and selfish and took it out on you, Sara.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
So apparently that wasn't godzilla, but actually a steam pipe explosion.
And I checked the details on CNN's webpage, This was at the bottom:
More News
U.S. »
Daniel Pearl's widow sues terrorists
Jailed polygamist vows to keep just one wife
Politics »
McCain, Edwards slip in New Hampshire poll
Obama chips away at Clinton with subtle jabs
Entertainment »
'Sopranos' favored to grab Emmy recognition
Famed tenor dies of injury after shooting
Travel »
A crash course in Mexico's varied cuisine
Travel + Leisure: Aarhus: Danish modern
Law »
Dad tells daughter's killer all about his pain
Mom denies taking teens to a killing
Business »
Bernanke warns on housing, energy
IBM's jumps on software strength
World »
Pardon for child 'suicide bomber'
Nepal landslides kill at least 21
Health »
Dr. Gupta: Inside the TB patient's surgery
Studies: Restless legs syndrome 'real'
Tech »
Apple's Steve Jobs top 'Powergeek'
China censors blamed for email chaos
Living »
Champ psychs out players for $8 million
What you can do to beat the burglars
Science »
Report: O2 'dead zone' growing in Gulf
Chimps on treadmills offer evolution clue
Sports »
NFL will proceed cautiously on Vick
Top chokes, meltdowns in golf major history
Does anyone realize how screwy this is? 21 people died in a landslide in Nepal. That's near the bottom. 3 scalded in NYC and it's front story? I also appreciate the fact that Steve Jobs is more important than China.
dammit. I wanted to go to that improv show tontie (chuck and robin cancelled the concert since chuck is sickie)
And I checked the details on CNN's webpage, This was at the bottom:
More News
U.S. »
Daniel Pearl's widow sues terrorists
Jailed polygamist vows to keep just one wife
Politics »
McCain, Edwards slip in New Hampshire poll
Obama chips away at Clinton with subtle jabs
Entertainment »
'Sopranos' favored to grab Emmy recognition
Famed tenor dies of injury after shooting
Travel »
A crash course in Mexico's varied cuisine
Travel + Leisure: Aarhus: Danish modern
Law »
Dad tells daughter's killer all about his pain
Mom denies taking teens to a killing
Business »
Bernanke warns on housing, energy
IBM's jumps on software strength
World »
Pardon for child 'suicide bomber'
Nepal landslides kill at least 21
Health »
Dr. Gupta: Inside the TB patient's surgery
Studies: Restless legs syndrome 'real'
Tech »
Apple's Steve Jobs top 'Powergeek'
China censors blamed for email chaos
Living »
Champ psychs out players for $8 million
What you can do to beat the burglars
Science »
Report: O2 'dead zone' growing in Gulf
Chimps on treadmills offer evolution clue
Sports »
NFL will proceed cautiously on Vick
Top chokes, meltdowns in golf major history
Does anyone realize how screwy this is? 21 people died in a landslide in Nepal. That's near the bottom. 3 scalded in NYC and it's front story? I also appreciate the fact that Steve Jobs is more important than China.
dammit. I wanted to go to that improv show tontie (chuck and robin cancelled the concert since chuck is sickie)
One last time
*sigh*
So I've been enjoying NYC, and escaping regularly this huge problem in my life throughbooze, babes, and violence exploring, reading, and watching.
Chuck and Robin have been a big help, they're basically a few years younger than my parents only not married, don't want kids, rich, and they actually like me. wow.
so we're going to a free concert tonite at madison square garden. But i've come to the conclusion that NYC is a nice place, but unless you were born and raised here, it is not a nifty place to live. Sorry Brit, I understand this is your favourite town but...I dunno
Oh and this problem?
*phone rings*
Mom: Hello?
Me: Hey, mom, listen I just wanted to ask have you bought the sheets yet?
Mom: Um...no...
Me: Good, don't. I'm not going to live in the dorm.
Mom: I thought you would crash at least once a week there..
Me: No, this is just silly. I'm living with james.
Mom: Well. Okay.
Me: Okay, love you mom, bye.
Mom: Bye.
So I understand that it now costs me 2 grand a semester to go to USC basically for on house living because GUESS WHAT? "Unless one has written notice from parents that they are living off campus with his/her guardian, one must spend his/her first year upon the USC campus. And if you change your mind bitches too late because no one knew about this till after June 30th muahahahah"
so stupidity upon my part. and now I have my own dorm room! yippity skippity yay! Maybe I'll use the awesome kitchen in the downstairs...or in my apartment. So now because of this, I owe the school $2000 that no, my parents will not help in. Fucking FAFSA. You either have to put in your parents money situation or your spouses...hmm...spouses....maybe...it's too late anyway..I think...*Sara pleads in the background for me to not get hitched so early..."I love you, Tory. But I can't see you marrying so early" But Sara, I already know I'm gonna be with this guy forever and everyone I think knows that I don't place much in marriage...but it is a good thing to do finacially wise...*
$2000 (dorm one must live in so USC can gouge cash out of you) + $2000 (setting up apartment and paying rent)= $4000 X 2 (for next semster)= $ 8000
and all I have is $6000.
= waitressing.
"But sweetie, you can fucking sleep with him on the weekends! He can be with you in your dorm room till 2 AM!!..............speaking of which I want you to see a gynocologist"
"Mooom..."
So I've been enjoying NYC, and escaping regularly this huge problem in my life through
Chuck and Robin have been a big help, they're basically a few years younger than my parents only not married, don't want kids, rich, and they actually like me. wow.
so we're going to a free concert tonite at madison square garden. But i've come to the conclusion that NYC is a nice place, but unless you were born and raised here, it is not a nifty place to live. Sorry Brit, I understand this is your favourite town but...I dunno
Oh and this problem?
*phone rings*
Mom: Hello?
Me: Hey, mom, listen I just wanted to ask have you bought the sheets yet?
Mom: Um...no...
Me: Good, don't. I'm not going to live in the dorm.
Mom: I thought you would crash at least once a week there..
Me: No, this is just silly. I'm living with james.
Mom: Well. Okay.
Me: Okay, love you mom, bye.
Mom: Bye.
So I understand that it now costs me 2 grand a semester to go to USC basically for on house living because GUESS WHAT? "Unless one has written notice from parents that they are living off campus with his/her guardian, one must spend his/her first year upon the USC campus. And if you change your mind bitches too late because no one knew about this till after June 30th muahahahah"
so stupidity upon my part. and now I have my own dorm room! yippity skippity yay! Maybe I'll use the awesome kitchen in the downstairs...or in my apartment. So now because of this, I owe the school $2000 that no, my parents will not help in. Fucking FAFSA. You either have to put in your parents money situation or your spouses...hmm...spouses....maybe...it's too late anyway..I think...*Sara pleads in the background for me to not get hitched so early..."I love you, Tory. But I can't see you marrying so early" But Sara, I already know I'm gonna be with this guy forever and everyone I think knows that I don't place much in marriage...but it is a good thing to do finacially wise...*
$2000 (dorm one must live in so USC can gouge cash out of you) + $2000 (setting up apartment and paying rent)= $4000 X 2 (for next semster)= $ 8000
and all I have is $6000.
= waitressing.
"But sweetie, you can fucking sleep with him on the weekends! He can be with you in your dorm room till 2 AM!!..............speaking of which I want you to see a gynocologist"
"Mooom..."
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Holy Shit, Shashi wasn't kidding. Takki chicken rolls, 4.50 for 8 for two, in this city I thought they'd be small but one filled me up so I have another in the fridge
they're greasydelicious my taste buds rejoice. couldn't find a homeless guy to give it to though, sat across a fellow at Washington Park, he was memorizing lines which I gotta do for my acting class, fuck I need to get on that.
It was a good day.
and out of Kill Bill, Easy Rider, and Cicade De Deus...well no, I guess I can't pick a favourite. Kill Bill for the shininess (dammit! Why didn't I get the second volume?!) Easy Rider was slow but pretty country. liked the ending. Cicade De Deus just kicked ass, but I like those kind of movies so it might be me.
Gonna do laundry, they have a library in the basement and I found something about learning Russian there last nite which works for me.
I desperately need someone to crack my back.
...
and a cold bath.
Oh I might see TMBG and Decemberists alone, which oh well, but hell even I can't pass up those two. Still gotta see Spring Awakening and I LOVE BLEECKER BOB'S ALBUM SHOPPE! ahhh I got a firesign album, a um "techno" album, and the damien rice "O" cd for 5 bucks a piece. that place is wonderfully cheap and when I asked for directions to Maumoons falafel stand they were like "Oh no man, don't go there, their chef just quit and opened his own place two blocks down etc etc" I found the Indian Roll place Shashi mentioned before either of the falafel places. I think I want to go to the Blue Note too.
Yeah, um. I might go to NYU cause the area surrounding just kicks ass.
No, I need to check out the west coast before I make any decision.
But I talked to the reps of masters of film division at Columbia U and NYU and both said to not waste my time with Honors and to just do media arts and business and hurry the fuck up. So I'm not gonna be in Honors USC even though I worked my ass off to get there. Which means 2 years at the longest. Hell yeah bitches.
I know I know my acting career up here is going no where, but I gotta let you know I am having a fucking awesome time.
Lonely? True, I'll give you that, I do say hello to passerbys on street and talk to the homeless when giving them pop tarts...Yes, I have no friends up here, but ah oh well, I'm making the most.
Tomorrow..staten island ferry free? cross the brooklyn bridge? Or is the farmer's market at Union Square only open on Sunday's? Yeah, I think I'll head over there.
*blows a kiss*
*winks too*
they're greasydelicious my taste buds rejoice. couldn't find a homeless guy to give it to though, sat across a fellow at Washington Park, he was memorizing lines which I gotta do for my acting class, fuck I need to get on that.
It was a good day.
and out of Kill Bill, Easy Rider, and Cicade De Deus...well no, I guess I can't pick a favourite. Kill Bill for the shininess (dammit! Why didn't I get the second volume?!) Easy Rider was slow but pretty country. liked the ending. Cicade De Deus just kicked ass, but I like those kind of movies so it might be me.
Gonna do laundry, they have a library in the basement and I found something about learning Russian there last nite which works for me.
I desperately need someone to crack my back.
...
and a cold bath.
Oh I might see TMBG and Decemberists alone, which oh well, but hell even I can't pass up those two. Still gotta see Spring Awakening and I LOVE BLEECKER BOB'S ALBUM SHOPPE! ahhh I got a firesign album, a um "techno" album, and the damien rice "O" cd for 5 bucks a piece. that place is wonderfully cheap and when I asked for directions to Maumoons falafel stand they were like "Oh no man, don't go there, their chef just quit and opened his own place two blocks down etc etc" I found the Indian Roll place Shashi mentioned before either of the falafel places. I think I want to go to the Blue Note too.
Yeah, um. I might go to NYU cause the area surrounding just kicks ass.
No, I need to check out the west coast before I make any decision.
But I talked to the reps of masters of film division at Columbia U and NYU and both said to not waste my time with Honors and to just do media arts and business and hurry the fuck up. So I'm not gonna be in Honors USC even though I worked my ass off to get there. Which means 2 years at the longest. Hell yeah bitches.
I know I know my acting career up here is going no where, but I gotta let you know I am having a fucking awesome time.
Lonely? True, I'll give you that, I do say hello to passerbys on street and talk to the homeless when giving them pop tarts...Yes, I have no friends up here, but ah oh well, I'm making the most.
Tomorrow..staten island ferry free? cross the brooklyn bridge? Or is the farmer's market at Union Square only open on Sunday's? Yeah, I think I'll head over there.
*blows a kiss*
*winks too*
Friday, July 06, 2007
Pass Out.
dreams inconsistent angel things watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion yum yum chicken bone tell all your friends why doesn't sara ever call me scratch scratch bad breath terrible breath good to be um no this isn't home either damn oh my my by the side of the road lays a bum with an empty can fill it up with solid gold then you can really understand falafel friend i don't wanna talk i don't wanna rock i don't wanna sit by the phone and sometimes i feel the fear of uncertainty giv 'er a kiss 'nd it'll all be okie dokie skinnamarinkidinkydink skinnamarinkidoo i wuv yooou homestar oh god know hep me background saying i'll take you there cause i'm a p.i.m.p. is it worth it hahahaha and i'm doin it and doin it and doin it well stacey where are ye?
Conneticutt sucked/rocked.
Conneticutt sucked/rocked.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Frog in Throat / Thanks Dad.
Dad: Hey Tory! Just checking for the 2943rd time about your incompetence with gas stoves. But I looove you.
Me: *sigh* thanks
D: Hey, you don't sound like you're doing too well, *tries to think of ways to cheer up da Tory* Hmm, BY THE WAY! I forgot! How did your brunch last Sunday with Sarah go?
M: She cancelled dad, for a wedding...
D: Oh, well, has she called you back to reschedul..
M: No.
D: Oh....so you like, have no friends at all up there?
M: No dad.
D: Oh, um so I guess you're lonel..
M: *holding back tears* just a little
D: Well I gue..
M: Dad, I'm gonna go *blatantly lies* I think that's a casting director on the other line
D: Oh! Well good lu
*hangs up*
*looks at wall*
*picks up phone again*
Uncle Chris in Conneticut: Hello?
Me: Um..hello? Is this Chris?
U: Yeah..
M: *sounding extremely lonely and depraved* Uh yeah Hi Uncle Chris! It's me, Tory
U: oh yeah! hi!
M: Yeah I was just wondering, what are you guys doing for the fourth of july?
U: Oh well we were going to your Uncle Bill and Aunt Sandi's home to celebrate Jill's birthday/the fourth of july
M: Oh um well...can I come?
U: erm
M: I mean, not to be
U: Yeah, I'm sure you can, but lemme put you on the line with your aunt , she's the one to talk to about making plans
M: Oh yeah thanks
H: Hey Tory,
M: Hey! I think I am going to check up on the bus and train schedules into Hartford, and then I'll call you back, okay?
H: Oh okay, well, you can come by any time you want Tory.
M: Thanks.
*hangs up*
*stares at wall*
I think I'm gonna watch the fireworks at Central Park alone.
Me: *sigh* thanks
D: Hey, you don't sound like you're doing too well, *tries to think of ways to cheer up da Tory* Hmm, BY THE WAY! I forgot! How did your brunch last Sunday with Sarah go?
M: She cancelled dad, for a wedding...
D: Oh, well, has she called you back to reschedul..
M: No.
D: Oh....so you like, have no friends at all up there?
M: No dad.
D: Oh, um so I guess you're lonel..
M: *holding back tears* just a little
D: Well I gue..
M: Dad, I'm gonna go *blatantly lies* I think that's a casting director on the other line
D: Oh! Well good lu
*hangs up*
*looks at wall*
*picks up phone again*
Uncle Chris in Conneticut: Hello?
Me: Um..hello? Is this Chris?
U: Yeah..
M: *sounding extremely lonely and depraved* Uh yeah Hi Uncle Chris! It's me, Tory
U: oh yeah! hi!
M: Yeah I was just wondering, what are you guys doing for the fourth of july?
U: Oh well we were going to your Uncle Bill and Aunt Sandi's home to celebrate Jill's birthday/the fourth of july
M: Oh um well...can I come?
U: erm
M: I mean, not to be
U: Yeah, I'm sure you can, but lemme put you on the line with your aunt , she's the one to talk to about making plans
M: Oh yeah thanks
H: Hey Tory,
M: Hey! I think I am going to check up on the bus and train schedules into Hartford, and then I'll call you back, okay?
H: Oh okay, well, you can come by any time you want Tory.
M: Thanks.
*hangs up*
*stares at wall*
I think I'm gonna watch the fireworks at Central Park alone.
Friday, June 29, 2007
I get campin eyes in the final hour last minute shoppers pickin cauliflower they fuss they make swear they were drivin a car they always moan moanin's not so cheap cheaper still cheaper still down the street
ragglefraggle boil and turn, i'm sorry.
Dad: So, how you holding up money wise?
Me: Well, you know, I just took the money I had and counted the rest of the days I had and found out that I only had 8 dollars a day to live off of and
Dad: whoa whoa whoa! Kid! You're not cinderella, Tory, I planned on giving you like another six hundred
Me: ...what?
Dad: Yeah!
Wait wait wait, how much in debt am I going to be to this guy? the apartment basically cost three grand what with a 500 security deposit. and you gave me 600, so I figured that's three 1200's I can work on that, but another six hundred, head aches a comin'
What? are you giving me this like you did half of that car so you won't worry about me in college? Is that it? Or are you for some reason gonna TRY to pay for my college too? I'm so very confused.
ragglefraggle boil and turn, i'm sorry.
Dad: So, how you holding up money wise?
Me: Well, you know, I just took the money I had and counted the rest of the days I had and found out that I only had 8 dollars a day to live off of and
Dad: whoa whoa whoa! Kid! You're not cinderella, Tory, I planned on giving you like another six hundred
Me: ...what?
Dad: Yeah!
Wait wait wait, how much in debt am I going to be to this guy? the apartment basically cost three grand what with a 500 security deposit. and you gave me 600, so I figured that's three 1200's I can work on that, but another six hundred, head aches a comin'
What? are you giving me this like you did half of that car so you won't worry about me in college? Is that it? Or are you for some reason gonna TRY to pay for my college too? I'm so very confused.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Spring Awakening
Okay, last time I mention it, I promise. Yeah...I kinda really do wanna see this production..
and yeah, Manhattan is vunda-vah.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
I'm tired. I come home from chasing around and keeping busy a three year old when I come home to a pissed off mom.
"why am I getting these bad vibes from you."
*silence*
"You have been with him, count 'em, two days straight. And you have not helped enough with your party."
so I'm here cleaning the upstairs and dusting. He's hurt so much. I've done it to him, no matter what he says about he did it to himself for believing it.
Do I know what I want?
cop out's suck.
and he thinks it will be a cop out but it won't. They won't pay for the NY trip unless I also stay in a dorm for a year, or if I live with him in Columbia they will disown me, they've told me this. She has, at least. She's upset. He's upset. I think my body is telling me I'm upset.
I'm gonna have a talk with them when dad and mom are both back here.
"It's kinda always been about you."
"why am I getting these bad vibes from you."
*silence*
"You have been with him, count 'em, two days straight. And you have not helped enough with your party."
so I'm here cleaning the upstairs and dusting. He's hurt so much. I've done it to him, no matter what he says about he did it to himself for believing it.
Do I know what I want?
cop out's suck.
and he thinks it will be a cop out but it won't. They won't pay for the NY trip unless I also stay in a dorm for a year, or if I live with him in Columbia they will disown me, they've told me this. She has, at least. She's upset. He's upset. I think my body is telling me I'm upset.
I'm gonna have a talk with them when dad and mom are both back here.
"It's kinda always been about you."
Saturday, May 26, 2007
I don't know why I'm upset. It's silly and frivolous but it has deeply bothered me that she has taken down the birdhouse I painted when I was younger with a cheap plastic one. She offered me to take it to James' home. That pissed me off because that birdhouse is mine and that was it's spot. It was taken away from it's home. I don't know, i'm just a little bothered by it
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
What did he mean this christmas that he was going to find him for her? in himself or someone else?
I know he still loves her and
they both sit there looking at me "it's not my decision but your mother's" she demands the keys back and I take them instantly out of my pocket, how did I see this one coming. they're disgusted at me and toss words like ungrateful shit. I don't care, they've tried enough times and each time i haven't explained a thing but just sat there. each time I open my mouth it makes it worse. and they'd laugh if I said he was going somewhere and maybe I can only see it, but
"it's just money"
"just...what?..you ungr"
figures, and not shapes mind you, is all I realize I hear out of their mouths
Talbert Greene gave me a call, I picked up, talked a bit, he's a manipulator too and it's pretty damn obvious. It'd be fun if I weren't tired of it. Risk gets boring after the seventh game in a row.
So I'm at Sara's house, dump of a car but it's hers. A new telly and good stuff from the 'rents she gets four cards on the table and it hits me I didn't get any but I really don't care. She is realizing she hates her birthday "party" because Rebekah and Ben are too loud and obnoxious. She motions for a pizza but all decline and finish the food that does not turn out well. She pisses off everyone when she says that she just wanted her ear pierced.
Go to Lincoln and Cat's and get a bag of Ricola and a birthday card.
smile.
Do my siblings look up to me that much? Should I stick around till graduation make her happy she offered to move my stuff out as soon as it's all over. Or should I leave today? Now. My heart wants now. My heart wanted before idiot, okay good point but I realize my head is stopping me. What would I do if I lived there? I've thought this over time and time again? visits? Awkward ones to the previous home. Hugs? Would I get hugs? or just evil glares? Should I just dissapear altogether and never show my face again? I'd like to see them, but I don't know. would he even want me? I'm a huge fucking handful.
Ticket 375, sky dive 185, 560 i need money and or car or push off sky diving or
Stay at home? Just go out with him on dates this summer and get the car at school year.. Of course school year is in a dorm
No.
no no no. I will buy my own junker guys but I
I am foolish and young and naive. I shouldn't be living with him, chrissakes I haven't met every guy I should go out and date!
But why would I pass up something that's perfect? Can't I be forgiven for finding the right one earlier than most? Or am I
stupid.
yeah.
major headache, maybe I do need a nap.
yeah right, like i can sleep without him near me.
and did he suceed?
I know he still loves her and
they both sit there looking at me "it's not my decision but your mother's" she demands the keys back and I take them instantly out of my pocket, how did I see this one coming. they're disgusted at me and toss words like ungrateful shit. I don't care, they've tried enough times and each time i haven't explained a thing but just sat there. each time I open my mouth it makes it worse. and they'd laugh if I said he was going somewhere and maybe I can only see it, but
"it's just money"
"just...what?..you ungr"
figures, and not shapes mind you, is all I realize I hear out of their mouths
Talbert Greene gave me a call, I picked up, talked a bit, he's a manipulator too and it's pretty damn obvious. It'd be fun if I weren't tired of it. Risk gets boring after the seventh game in a row.
So I'm at Sara's house, dump of a car but it's hers. A new telly and good stuff from the 'rents she gets four cards on the table and it hits me I didn't get any but I really don't care. She is realizing she hates her birthday "party" because Rebekah and Ben are too loud and obnoxious. She motions for a pizza but all decline and finish the food that does not turn out well. She pisses off everyone when she says that she just wanted her ear pierced.
Go to Lincoln and Cat's and get a bag of Ricola and a birthday card.
smile.
Do my siblings look up to me that much? Should I stick around till graduation make her happy she offered to move my stuff out as soon as it's all over. Or should I leave today? Now. My heart wants now. My heart wanted before idiot, okay good point but I realize my head is stopping me. What would I do if I lived there? I've thought this over time and time again? visits? Awkward ones to the previous home. Hugs? Would I get hugs? or just evil glares? Should I just dissapear altogether and never show my face again? I'd like to see them, but I don't know. would he even want me? I'm a huge fucking handful.
Ticket 375, sky dive 185, 560 i need money and or car or push off sky diving or
Stay at home? Just go out with him on dates this summer and get the car at school year.. Of course school year is in a dorm
No.
no no no. I will buy my own junker guys but I
I am foolish and young and naive. I shouldn't be living with him, chrissakes I haven't met every guy I should go out and date!
But why would I pass up something that's perfect? Can't I be forgiven for finding the right one earlier than most? Or am I
stupid.
yeah.
major headache, maybe I do need a nap.
yeah right, like i can sleep without him near me.
and did he suceed?
Saturday, May 12, 2007
One thing I forgot about staying up late..
..it's lonely.
I haven't felt this in a while. Everyone is asleep or with other cohorts to keep them busy and happy. I'm left to myself right now, that was recent.
School's out. Welcome back to your room. You can't sleep anymore? Let's sit with our backs to the door and hate ourselves.
Not again, please.
please?
*sigh*
Youtube it is I guess, only to go back to the blue rope light room.
grr this post is sickening.
I haven't felt this in a while. Everyone is asleep or with other cohorts to keep them busy and happy. I'm left to myself right now, that was recent.
School's out. Welcome back to your room. You can't sleep anymore? Let's sit with our backs to the door and hate ourselves.
Not again, please.
please?
*sigh*
Youtube it is I guess, only to go back to the blue rope light room.
grr this post is sickening.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Main Outcome?
What do they tell you?
That I should expect the unexpected for this summer.
That's the nice part, the rest has risk of ill health and idolence to authority, but that's okay.
Haven't lied yet.
now to get rid of the dreams.
Seriously, mutated children hanging like livestock, crusted openings with teats on tummies?
Strange shit man, strange.
Physicals are weird man. Shot in left arm. Air bubble in left arm. Shot in right arm. Shot in patukiss. and a bruised sole of foot for trying to catch a cruising minivan, while holding a quart-o-choco-milk.
happy?
happy. ^_^
all i can do is say my life is pretty plain..
That I should expect the unexpected for this summer.
That's the nice part, the rest has risk of ill health and idolence to authority, but that's okay.
Haven't lied yet.
now to get rid of the dreams.
Seriously, mutated children hanging like livestock, crusted openings with teats on tummies?
Strange shit man, strange.
Physicals are weird man. Shot in left arm. Air bubble in left arm. Shot in right arm. Shot in patukiss. and a bruised sole of foot for trying to catch a cruising minivan, while holding a quart-o-choco-milk.
happy?
happy. ^_^
all i can do is say my life is pretty plain..
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
In other news..
Driving. Basically by instinct drove myself into the median and did a nice little turn/twist to avoid the car that decided to get right in front of me and...
..nevermind
I was just a little unnerved, but it took me the police officer later for me to realize this.
My eyebrows have disappeared.
And it's funny. I've stopped acting, I'm actually being who I am.
but no one wants to see realize that.
..nevermind
I was just a little unnerved, but it took me the police officer later for me to realize this.
My eyebrows have disappeared.
And it's funny. I've stopped acting, I'm actually being who I am.
but no one wants to see realize that.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Lust.
I need to keep it to myself. After any interaction whatsoever in that category it always ends up with me doing something wrong. I'm awkward, no vicious, hah passionate. I just can't ever get anything right in that arena, and I think I should just leave myself alone in that category. It ends up with heavy breathing and terrible feelings of what I just did to the other. Nope no thanks, no more.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Egad.
"So you see, I plan on coming in on Saturday so I can work on the photos, I just want to have a picture on my roll of film so I could use it for my stop action shot."
"Well, if you leave after the lesson I will have to give you a half-absence."
"But, I have nothing to do"
*pause*
"I mean, maybe, I could kinda just take a few photos outside and do the rest of the roll."
"That might be for the better."
"Okay, thanks."
*gets back to car*
*sits in car and looks out window*
"Fuck it, I'll just take a half-absence, I mean, *grabs notebook and looks at outline sheet* it takes three absences to lower a whole letter grade, so if I leave I'll have one and a half, I'll still be in the clear..."
*half an hour later at library*
"dammit."
"Well, if you leave after the lesson I will have to give you a half-absence."
"But, I have nothing to do"
*pause*
"I mean, maybe, I could kinda just take a few photos outside and do the rest of the roll."
"That might be for the better."
"Okay, thanks."
*gets back to car*
*sits in car and looks out window*
"Fuck it, I'll just take a half-absence, I mean, *grabs notebook and looks at outline sheet* it takes three absences to lower a whole letter grade, so if I leave I'll have one and a half, I'll still be in the clear..."
*half an hour later at library*
"dammit."
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Goo goo...dolls
I'm so happy. I finally am able to make a post.
and I have nothing to say.
My favourite Valentine's memory is last year after work being miserable and tired and dammit I want a box of chocolates, so I go and buy it and Food Lion is empty and the lights are flickering and in front of me is a guy in a hurry who splays out about 8 bottles of whipped cream. The chick at the register and I just glance at each other.
hold me.
no, don't that's too boring. No, i don't know what i want, do i have to? I mean, have i
sleep.
i am oh so sleepy
let us sleep.
okay.
I'm so happy. I finally am able to make a post.
and I have nothing to say.
My favourite Valentine's memory is last year after work being miserable and tired and dammit I want a box of chocolates, so I go and buy it and Food Lion is empty and the lights are flickering and in front of me is a guy in a hurry who splays out about 8 bottles of whipped cream. The chick at the register and I just glance at each other.
hold me.
no, don't that's too boring. No, i don't know what i want, do i have to? I mean, have i
sleep.
i am oh so sleepy
let us sleep.
okay.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Catharsis
So thinking it through, if I did listen to my body, it would be telling me it needs a catharsis. I've wanted to cry and throw up and disappear alot lately and I wish I knew why. *shrugs* Oh well. That's why you should never listen to your body, folks.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Sh-Sh-Shakin
Laughing hysterically while the sky turnes red to go along with the song red blooded woman as it pumps through the stereo trying to conquer the wind's inane babbling. I'm shaking, but I've been shaking all week. I know they all want him. I'm not stupid, but he's mine, I think, and the last time I brought this up he was gonna slit himself a new one, but please don't, such beauty that you can't even see, but that's okay because i'm yours as long as you'll have me. he caught a glimpse of what the nite brings out. i flashed a gleam to him when driving off the exit and he didn't say a thing, but i knew what was to come so i hid it real well till I was alone again after the awkward cookie ice cream ordeal. and they all want him and his happiness is all that matters. silly i haven't been feeling like myself for a while and i can't help you but for now I know that i've changed/am changing please forgive me if i acted a lil strange for i know not what i do because i love you.
only 95 today, i promise i didn't crash ;)
only 95 today, i promise i didn't crash ;)
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Pissed because they have stoppped selling my bearclaw icecream that is one fifty. Only walked in with three dollars, wanted it real bad, discovered that every other pint of icecream is 3 dollars and change. grr...
fickeled fuddled words confuse me
Pissed because the fucking AP Psych exam decides to not save my answers but instead log me out. Thus giving me 8 minutes to do a total recall of the last 40 questions I answered and attempt to rewrite from my mind my five paragraph responses. Needless to say, I failed that pup.
waste the hours with talking...
Stressed because I gotta memorize a monologue, find a situational comedy and write a commerical and memorize those.
you cannot quit me so quickly
Odd feelings because I've been in this condo all day cuz my computer decided to go splitsville and not gimme a headsup. Dah lightbulb in the lappy's screen gone kaput, cannot see squat, but knows it works. Either way, the three day weekend I needed it for was perfect timing, so I'm using da condo's comp.
will i hold you again?
fickeled fuddled words confuse me
Pissed because the fucking AP Psych exam decides to not save my answers but instead log me out. Thus giving me 8 minutes to do a total recall of the last 40 questions I answered and attempt to rewrite from my mind my five paragraph responses. Needless to say, I failed that pup.
waste the hours with talking...
Stressed because I gotta memorize a monologue, find a situational comedy and write a commerical and memorize those.
you cannot quit me so quickly
Odd feelings because I've been in this condo all day cuz my computer decided to go splitsville and not gimme a headsup. Dah lightbulb in the lappy's screen gone kaput, cannot see squat, but knows it works. Either way, the three day weekend I needed it for was perfect timing, so I'm using da condo's comp.
will i hold you again?
Monday, January 08, 2007
Pissed because I can't tell Vikka that I worry about her.
stalker?
maybe, I just know her really through what brit and james say and her journal posts I read.
Why should I worry about her?
I kinda know her.
not really.
but worrying is my fashion of caring.
fuckin' neurotic, blah.
One of those "I hope she won't die in the process of having a "fun" semester"
No, I should not worry about her.
Yes, I did attempt to text message her saying something like "Hey, wow, you've gotten on my worry list"
Yes, I didn't send it
Yes, I attempted an e-mail
Right, I didn't send that either.
Oh well.....
He never told me the story behind the hummingbird with one broken wing.
That accidentally broke the top of my teapot that holds my candles because there are several hairline cracks that make it not hold tea.
Tor'
read queenbees and wannabes.
right.
that's all for now, no more of this silly blog for a while.
i hope
slash think.
stalker?
maybe, I just know her really through what brit and james say and her journal posts I read.
Why should I worry about her?
I kinda know her.
not really.
but worrying is my fashion of caring.
fuckin' neurotic, blah.
One of those "I hope she won't die in the process of having a "fun" semester"
No, I should not worry about her.
Yes, I did attempt to text message her saying something like "Hey, wow, you've gotten on my worry list"
Yes, I didn't send it
Yes, I attempted an e-mail
Right, I didn't send that either.
Oh well.....
He never told me the story behind the hummingbird with one broken wing.
That accidentally broke the top of my teapot that holds my candles because there are several hairline cracks that make it not hold tea.
Tor'
read queenbees and wannabes.
right.
that's all for now, no more of this silly blog for a while.
i hope
slash think.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
I wanted to be held..
..but would you want the world to hold you?
the murderer's the mother's the snowman maker's?
would you
could you
fall asleep in their arms too?
*yawn*
i'm sillysleepy.
attempted to delete some people off of myspace.
came to the conclusion by the seventh page and only deleting 4 people...that I used to know a lot of people.
that I hardly know now.
damn,
i got around in the tenth grade sucka.
..but would you want the world to hold you?
the murderer's the mother's the snowman maker's?
would you
could you
fall asleep in their arms too?
*yawn*
i'm sillysleepy.
attempted to delete some people off of myspace.
came to the conclusion by the seventh page and only deleting 4 people...that I used to know a lot of people.
that I hardly know now.
damn,
i got around in the tenth grade sucka.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Eye of the Beholder
I always thought I was model material. I mean, I knew I never could be because of my built, a runway model that is, but I had a chance at being a photographic one. (side note: why the perpetual wetness?) Usual group photos and school pictures are terrible. You gotta smile, for some odd reason I think I’m prettier photographic wise when I’m not smiling..I see people model all the time and I take the photos all the time. But not usual model photos, oh no, I mean a random girl in a skirt texting somebody at a bus stop, silly models like that. I can imagine myself right now in my undies, black and white photo for this one, left leg up on the table, right on the ground as it always is, hair curled and everywhere eyes staring at screen that little black line blinking and patiently waiting for a thought to come out. Anyway, not the point. Model runway thing on the 19th. And I’m always told at these things that I have a knack for walking down those, but I never get picked up. Mainly cause I’m not a beanpole. Which is fine…watching world’s next top model whatever with gracie, If someone tried to kick me off I would say to them, “So I’m not beautiful? Tell me I’m not beautiful in these cameras” That’s a problem, it all has it’s beauty and they’re all gorgeous girls. Funny part is the people telling them that their natural beauty ain’t right aren’t the prettiest things on this side of the earth either. The hair idea on the black woman that is really a guy is um…it don’t fit buddy, sorreh. Yes, I admit, I model in my mirror. I get caught up, I find myself doing imaginary photoshoots (of course this is usually round midnite when homework is tiresome and everyone’s asleep) not photo shoots only though. I mean, models may be beautiful (some aren’t as pretty as ones that aren’t models but that’s my opinion) but there’s nothing to it. They don’t speak. Half the beauty should be the inside at least, moreso if you ask me. *shrugs* dunno what I’m getting at. Guess I’m gonna take a lil’ siesta before picking up Rebecca, sara, brit, and mr. camera for academy’s play…woo
Thursday, January 04, 2007
there's a duncan sheik song playing in my mind that explains kinda how i feel..
I want peace but I don't make it
I want love but I don't give it
i want hope but I can't find it...
although i don't want her to heal me.
morose. grey perhaps
something sweet about shining inside should go right here
but instead i return to psychology.
I want peace but I don't make it
I want love but I don't give it
i want hope but I can't find it...
although i don't want her to heal me.
morose. grey perhaps
something sweet about shining inside should go right here
but instead i return to psychology.
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