What did he mean this christmas that he was going to find him for her? in himself or someone else?

I know he still loves her and

they both sit there looking at me "it's not my decision but your mother's" she demands the keys back and I take them instantly out of my pocket, how did I see this one coming. they're disgusted at me and toss words like ungrateful shit. I don't care, they've tried enough times and each time i haven't explained a thing but just sat there. each time I open my mouth it makes it worse. and they'd laugh if I said he was going somewhere and maybe I can only see it, but

"it's just money"

"just...what?..you ungr"

figures, and not shapes mind you, is all I realize I hear out of their mouths

Talbert Greene gave me a call, I picked up, talked a bit, he's a manipulator too and it's pretty damn obvious. It'd be fun if I weren't tired of it. Risk gets boring after the seventh game in a row.

So I'm at Sara's house, dump of a car but it's hers. A new telly and good stuff from the 'rents she gets four cards on the table and it hits me I didn't get any but I really don't care. She is realizing she hates her birthday "party" because Rebekah and Ben are too loud and obnoxious. She motions for a pizza but all decline and finish the food that does not turn out well. She pisses off everyone when she says that she just wanted her ear pierced.

Go to Lincoln and Cat's and get a bag of Ricola and a birthday card.

smile.

Do my siblings look up to me that much? Should I stick around till graduation make her happy she offered to move my stuff out as soon as it's all over. Or should I leave today? Now. My heart wants now. My heart wanted before idiot, okay good point but I realize my head is stopping me. What would I do if I lived there? I've thought this over time and time again? visits? Awkward ones to the previous home. Hugs? Would I get hugs? or just evil glares? Should I just dissapear altogether and never show my face again? I'd like to see them, but I don't know. would he even want me? I'm a huge fucking handful.

Ticket 375, sky dive 185, 560 i need money and or car or push off sky diving or

Stay at home? Just go out with him on dates this summer and get the car at school year.. Of course school year is in a dorm

No.

no no no. I will buy my own junker guys but I

I am foolish and young and naive. I shouldn't be living with him, chrissakes I haven't met every guy I should go out and date!

But why would I pass up something that's perfect? Can't I be forgiven for finding the right one earlier than most? Or am I

stupid.

yeah.

major headache, maybe I do need a nap.



yeah right, like i can sleep without him near me.





and did he suceed?