Sh-Sh-Shakin

Laughing hysterically while the sky turnes red to go along with the song red blooded woman as it pumps through the stereo trying to conquer the wind's inane babbling. I'm shaking, but I've been shaking all week. I know they all want him. I'm not stupid, but he's mine, I think, and the last time I brought this up he was gonna slit himself a new one, but please don't, such beauty that you can't even see, but that's okay because i'm yours as long as you'll have me. he caught a glimpse of what the nite brings out. i flashed a gleam to him when driving off the exit and he didn't say a thing, but i knew what was to come so i hid it real well till I was alone again after the awkward cookie ice cream ordeal. and they all want him and his happiness is all that matters. silly i haven't been feeling like myself for a while and i can't help you but for now I know that i've changed/am changing please forgive me if i acted a lil strange for i know not what i do because i love you.

only 95 today, i promise i didn't crash ;)

Pissed because they have stoppped selling my bearclaw icecream that is one fifty. Only walked in with three dollars, wanted it real bad, discovered that every other pint of icecream is 3 dollars and change. grr...

fickeled fuddled words confuse me

Pissed because the fucking AP Psych exam decides to not save my answers but instead log me out. Thus giving me 8 minutes to do a total recall of the last 40 questions I answered and attempt to rewrite from my mind my five paragraph responses. Needless to say, I failed that pup.

waste the hours with talking...

Stressed because I gotta memorize a monologue, find a situational comedy and write a commerical and memorize those.


you cannot quit me so quickly

Odd feelings because I've been in this condo all day cuz my computer decided to go splitsville and not gimme a headsup. Dah lightbulb in the lappy's screen gone kaput, cannot see squat, but knows it works. Either way, the three day weekend I needed it for was perfect timing, so I'm using da condo's comp.

will i hold you again?

Pissed because I can't tell Vikka that I worry about her.


stalker?

maybe, I just know her really through what brit and james say and her journal posts I read.

Why should I worry about her?

I kinda know her.

not really.

but worrying is my fashion of caring.

fuckin' neurotic, blah.

One of those "I hope she won't die in the process of having a "fun" semester"

No, I should not worry about her.

Yes, I did attempt to text message her saying something like "Hey, wow, you've gotten on my worry list"

Yes, I didn't send it

Yes, I attempted an e-mail

Right, I didn't send that either.

Oh well.....






He never told me the story behind the hummingbird with one broken wing.

That accidentally broke the top of my teapot that holds my candles because there are several hairline cracks that make it not hold tea.

Tor'

read queenbees and wannabes.

right.

that's all for now, no more of this silly blog for a while.

i hope

slash think.

I wanted to be held..
..but would you want the world to hold you?
the murderer's the mother's the snowman maker's?
would you
could you
fall asleep in their arms too?
*yawn*
i'm sillysleepy.
attempted to delete some people off of myspace.
came to the conclusion by the seventh page and only deleting 4 people...that I used to know a lot of people.
that I hardly know now.
damn,
i got around in the tenth grade sucka.

Eye of the Beholder

I always thought I was model material. I mean, I knew I never could be because of my built, a runway model that is, but I had a chance at being a photographic one. (side note: why the perpetual wetness?) Usual group photos and school pictures are terrible. You gotta smile, for some odd reason I think I’m prettier photographic wise when I’m not smiling..I see people model all the time and I take the photos all the time. But not usual model photos, oh no, I mean a random girl in a skirt texting somebody at a bus stop, silly models like that. I can imagine myself right now in my undies, black and white photo for this one, left leg up on the table, right on the ground as it always is, hair curled and everywhere eyes staring at screen that little black line blinking and patiently waiting for a thought to come out. Anyway, not the point. Model runway thing on the 19th. And I’m always told at these things that I have a knack for walking down those, but I never get picked up. Mainly cause I’m not a beanpole. Which is fine…watching world’s next top model whatever with gracie, If someone tried to kick me off I would say to them, “So I’m not beautiful? Tell me I’m not beautiful in these cameras” That’s a problem, it all has it’s beauty and they’re all gorgeous girls. Funny part is the people telling them that their natural beauty ain’t right aren’t the prettiest things on this side of the earth either. The hair idea on the black woman that is really a guy is um…it don’t fit buddy, sorreh. Yes, I admit, I model in my mirror. I get caught up, I find myself doing imaginary photoshoots (of course this is usually round midnite when homework is tiresome and everyone’s asleep) not photo shoots only though. I mean, models may be beautiful (some aren’t as pretty as ones that aren’t models but that’s my opinion) but there’s nothing to it. They don’t speak. Half the beauty should be the inside at least, moreso if you ask me. *shrugs* dunno what I’m getting at. Guess I’m gonna take a lil’ siesta before picking up Rebecca, sara, brit, and mr. camera for academy’s play…woo

there's a duncan sheik song playing in my mind that explains kinda how i feel..

I want peace but I don't make it
I want love but I don't give it
i want hope but I can't find it...


although i don't want her to heal me.

morose. grey perhaps

something sweet about shining inside should go right here

but instead i return to psychology.