Autumn means the season of wanderlust.

at least, that's what james calls it.

~~~~

I came home an hour and half late because I chased the moon. I was not cognizant of it until the fact that the moment I saw the moon the song "Throw it all away" by brandi carlile was playing and the next thing I knew I had no idea where I was but I was somewhere in North Carolina and I was parked on the side of the road with a view of the moon.

As soon as I left Jey's home I drove but I didn't want to go home, so I stopped at the condo. Tired I lay on the bed and grabbed a hot cocoa packet, french vanilla because I drank all the fancy rasperry chocolate ones already. But I knew that the condo was not the escape I wanted. I knew what I wanted when I saw the moon. I wanted to keep driving. I did that, and it felt right. It felt right. I knew I wanted to end up in a desert in the morning with james snoring beside me. I knew in that moment that I want out.

Of course, I drove back home. My parents did not notice that I came home two hours longer than a movie should take. I'm glad they don't give a shit no more. Now I'm sipping my french vanilla hot cocoa which tastes like the smell of a library in cincinnatti, I can't exactly explain. I have a world religions test tomorrow..dammit need to study

but more and more of me....i don't care, tis also the season for apathy and lone. and love. strange.

They did it again. I didn't count and they only gave me 9 singles instead of the 10 they owed me. "After all these years of us doing this to you Tory, mind games over money. We thought you'd learn by now. count it in front of the person always." My mom pinches my cheek "We're just preparing you for the real world." "hey isn't there a song about that from a fella named John Mayer?" I curtly replied while sticking out my tongue and smiling. Dad hops on one foot and says "I'm running through the halls of my highschool!" I knew if I told them I don't give a shit about one single dollar I'd either get a shrug then and a lecture later or just a confused look.


Inhales steam from drink.

I'm sleepy, but I have this test.

Why am I here?