Hold me.

Are you ready for the fallout? Who ya gonna call out?

cherry sour punch straws.

I feel like crying I miss him

I've been downhearted baby...

passed you by and left you self defeated

I know he wants to have a good day today but I feel so jumbled crumbled and dusty bookshelfs

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=68457850

That's gonna be deleted soon which sucks because it has a lot of great songs and I want to go bowling and I cannot think about psychology or college apps because right now I'm in a parking lot in December.

hi jey

bye jey

Hold me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All day the song Good Old Days by fastball has been stuck in my head or at least the part..

Decorated in a candy glaze,
each drunken drug store purchase,
each chemical advance,
seven days a week and,
every day the same old busy dance.

Love that song

and

I got a warm,
fuzzy feeling,
when I saw you on tv,
you were wearin a piece of me
and it breaks my heart to look around and see the unimpressed
who can't believe the emporer is dressed

turn on my tv,
i wanna get some action
if you got no video
well then folk's don't wanna know

anyway that's all I can remember of that song right now

are you ready for the fallout who ya gonna call out

Songs I feel like all of them at once right now

Quiet as a Mouse- Margot and the nuclear so and so's
Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
Polly- Nirvana
Breathe Your Name- Sixpence None the Richer
Sex and Candy- Marcy Playground
Time is Running Out- Muse


My heart is beating too quickly. I feel like running as fast as my heart right now.

as a side note, hot damn i wish i were pretty.

Poem for a Crazie

He breathes,
Bitter cotton air,

The Shadows won't leave
My friend keeps beckoning me

Away.

I search the monitor for text that is meaningless for words compassion for him for him because i can feel him smell him taste him see him

But he isn't there.

Insomniacs suck down their chalky beverages and pray for no more dreams while turner classic movies play another Scorsese flick

In the adjoining room the eleven year old fears death.

The house breathes nightmares.

My body shivers and tells me it isn't right it's not good.

By the prick of my thumb,



And I worry.


And I worry.

Autumn means the season of wanderlust.

at least, that's what james calls it.

~~~~

I came home an hour and half late because I chased the moon. I was not cognizant of it until the fact that the moment I saw the moon the song "Throw it all away" by brandi carlile was playing and the next thing I knew I had no idea where I was but I was somewhere in North Carolina and I was parked on the side of the road with a view of the moon.

As soon as I left Jey's home I drove but I didn't want to go home, so I stopped at the condo. Tired I lay on the bed and grabbed a hot cocoa packet, french vanilla because I drank all the fancy rasperry chocolate ones already. But I knew that the condo was not the escape I wanted. I knew what I wanted when I saw the moon. I wanted to keep driving. I did that, and it felt right. It felt right. I knew I wanted to end up in a desert in the morning with james snoring beside me. I knew in that moment that I want out.

Of course, I drove back home. My parents did not notice that I came home two hours longer than a movie should take. I'm glad they don't give a shit no more. Now I'm sipping my french vanilla hot cocoa which tastes like the smell of a library in cincinnatti, I can't exactly explain. I have a world religions test tomorrow..dammit need to study

but more and more of me....i don't care, tis also the season for apathy and lone. and love. strange.

They did it again. I didn't count and they only gave me 9 singles instead of the 10 they owed me. "After all these years of us doing this to you Tory, mind games over money. We thought you'd learn by now. count it in front of the person always." My mom pinches my cheek "We're just preparing you for the real world." "hey isn't there a song about that from a fella named John Mayer?" I curtly replied while sticking out my tongue and smiling. Dad hops on one foot and says "I'm running through the halls of my highschool!" I knew if I told them I don't give a shit about one single dollar I'd either get a shrug then and a lecture later or just a confused look.


Inhales steam from drink.

I'm sleepy, but I have this test.

Why am I here?