Music: "Don't Cry"Seal , it's in my head, good enough, I should find the CD

I'd like to thank him; after the conversation well I'm not entirely sure anymore what occured afterwards, but I do know this:

I woke up with my mother shouting at me. I was outside on the porch swing on my old play set, I had all of my clothes on from yesterday and a dead cell phone in hand. I was freezing.

Thank you so much, you have no idea...

oh

and please don't cry, I care about you too much

i love you.

- tory

Sing, Sweet Nightingale

God I would kill for a back cracking right about now, I couldn't sleep last night, twisting all over my bed

• 2 essays for huggins
• beg gilbert for more time or something/get help from jey
• study for exams/find out when they are
• get Kevin his papers
• quit Sunday shifts/or just ask carol for it to be pushed back a half hour
• return DVD to jackie
• use blockbuster coupons before the 30th
• tell jey to not do anything this sunday because you're taking her to that concert for her christmas gift
• buy christmas gifts
• actually finish a book/return them to library
• watch paste dvd w/ short films
• talk w/ penn about drama monologue choice and next meeting
• deposit money already, you have checks dating back to effin september now

Definitely need that back cracking...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

didn't get his letter which makes me wonder if he sent it

~~~~~~~~~~

Loved Ohio.

Sing, Sweet Nightingale

God I would kill for a back cracking right about now, I couldn't sleep last night, twisting all over my bed

• 2 essays for huggins
• beg gilbert for more time or something/get help from jey
• study for exams/find out when they are
• get Kevin his papers
• quit Sunday shifts/or just ask carol for it to be pushed back a half hour
• return DVD to jackie
• use blockbuster coupons before the 30th
• tell jey to not do anything this sunday because you're taking her to that concert for her christmas gift
• buy christmas gifts
• actually finish a book/return them to library
• watch paste dvd w/ short films
• talk w/ penn about drama monologue choice and next meeting
• deposit money already, you have checks dating back to effin september now

Definitely need that back cracking...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

didn't get his letter which makes me wonder if he sent it

~~~~~~~~~~

Loved Ohio.

So many movies, so little time

http://www.obeythefist.com/movies/index.php?list=best" method="post">

scroll to bottom to copy the html

IMDB's Top 100 Best Movies of All Time generate this HTML for your own page at ObeytheFist.com
Rank Movie Didn't See It/ Started It/ Finished It/ Hated It! 1 Godfather, The (1972) Finished It 2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994) 3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974) Finished It 4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) Started It 5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) Finished It 6 Casablanca (1942) Finished It 7 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) Finished It 8 Schindler's List (1993) 9 Shichinin No Samurai [Seven Samurai] (1954) 10 Star Wars (1977) Finished It 11 Citizen Kane (1941) Finished It 12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) Finished It 13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) 14 Rear Window (1954) Finished It 15 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) Finished It 16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Finished It 17 Memento (2000) 18 Usual Suspects, The (1995) 19 Pulp Fiction (1994) 20 North by Northwest (1959) Finished It 21 12 Angry Men (1957) 22 Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le [Amelie] (2001) Finished It 23 Psycho (1960) Finished It 24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962) 25 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il [The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly] (1966) 26 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991) 27 It's a Wonderful Life (1946) Finished It 28 Goodfellas (1990) 29 American Beauty (1999) 30 Vertigo (1958) Finished It 31 Sunset Blvd. (1950) 32 Matrix, The (1999) Finished It 33 Apocalypse Now (1979) Finished It 34 Pianist, The (2002) 35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) Hated It! 36 C'era una volta il West [Once Upon a Time in the West] (1968) 37 Some Like It Hot (1959) Finished It 38 Third Man, The (1949) 39 Taxi Driver (1976) 40 Paths of Glory (1957) 41 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi [Spirited Away] (2001) Finished It 42 Fight Club (1999) Finished It 43 Boot, Das (1981) 44 Double Indemnity (1944) 45 L.A. Confidential (1997) 46 Chinatown (1974) 47 Singin' in the Rain (1952) Finished It 48 Maltese Falcon, The (1941) 49 M (1931) Finished It 50 Requiem for a Dream (2000) Finished It 51 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957) Finished It 52 All About Eve (1950) 53 Se7en (1995) 54 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Finished It 55 Saving Private Ryan (1998) 56 Cidade de Deus [City of God] (2002) 57 Raging Bull (1980) 58 Rashômon (1950) 59 Wizard of Oz, The (1939) Finished It 60 Sting, The (1973) 61 Alien (1979) 62 American History X (1998) 63 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) 64 Léon (1994) 65 Vita è bella, La [Life is Beautiful] (1997) 66 Touch of Evil (1958) 67 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962) Finished It 68 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) Finished It 69 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948) 70 Great Escape, The (1963) 71 Wo hu cang long [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon] (2000) 72 Reservoir Dogs (1992) 73 Clockwork Orange, A (1971) 74 Amadeus (1984) Finished It 75 Modern Times (1936) 76 Ran (1985) 77 Annie Hall (1977) 78 Jaws (1975) 79 On the Waterfront (1954) 80 Braveheart (1995) Finished It 81 High Noon (1952) 82 Apartment, The (1960) 83 Fargo (1996) Finished It 84 Sixth Sense, The (1999) Finished It 85 Aliens (1986) 86 Shining, The (1980) Finished It 87 Strangers on a Train (1951) 88 Blade Runner (1982) 89 Metropolis (1927) 90 Duck Soup (1933) Finished It 91 Finding Nemo (2003) Finished It 92 Donnie Darko (2001) 93 General, The (1927) 94 City Lights (1931) 95 Princess Bride, The (1987) Finished It 96 Toy Story 2 (1999) Finished It 97 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) 98 Great Dictator, The (1940) 99 Sjunde inseglet, Det [The Seventh Seal] (1957) 100 Lola rennt [Run Lola Run] (1998)
Which movies have you seen?

Just tonite I stood before the tavern,
Nothing seemed the way it used to be,
In the glass I saw a strange reflection,
Was that lonely woman really me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's so beautiful outside. I woke up at 4 AM in the morning, put on my clothes and fell asleep on my front porch with a blanket I grabbed. Thinking through last night, only with him do I act like some neurotic psychopath. Everyone else I am in control over what character I am, but with him..I have no power over what I do. And it worries me; is that person really me? Am I really not the calm cool and collected person I am around others? No, I think that is me that talks to him, but I am slightly nervous around him..no, not nervous, jumpy? No, something, cannot find the word. The only trouble with his silences other than the curiosity to know what he thinks is that over the phone I can't tell if he's smiling or not. I can hear it through his words and laughter, but not through his silences. Maybe I am a Pollyanna. Eh, even this post sounds odd to me now. Oh well, onwards with the day.

I think I'm going to be outside more. I like it too much to not be there.

Sitting in church, I was thinking it through.

I live my soul and religion through the hymnal more than the bible. I never have read the bible the whole way through. I love my church, I love the warmth it brings, I could care less for the people, there's something about being alone in a sanctuary and no one is around and you can sing. I can't stop singing lately, in church, I sang with all of my heart, and I didn't want to stop, I wanted to start singing ," Welll I said I wouldn't tell it to a livin soul, how he brought salvation and made me whole"

Yet when i am leaving the church, I always have Shalom Chaverim, perhaps my favorite hymn always traverse through my mind.

I made up a list of places I am happy:

• In Sunday School class with my mom, Kate, Dominique, Olivia, and just about anyone
• When company is over and dinner is finished, and the lights become warm and inviting for a bitter winter and drinks of wine and what have you are poured, stories are told, card games begin...ahh
• Sydney, Australia
• The porchswing on my old playset
• With the SA kids
• In the back of the NMB auditorium
• Wilmington
• On any bus, train, plane, or car
• with Julien
• at Sara's home
• Under my yellow comforter when it's cold outside
• in a boy's arms
• On stage
• my house, alone
• On the left staircase to the pit at HOB
• in the sanctuary, alone
• On the nature paths behind my house
• On the oyster beds and the bench on them
• In Broadway movie theatres
• With the Cold cut trio
• In a funky chair at collectors
• Anyplace I'm dancing or singing or both
• With the academy kids (theatre that is)
• Under the staircase at Edward's
• Beaches at night and/or winter
• On a bench near the bells

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Off to see Harry Potter, then work! Tralalalalala

EDIT::

10:50 at nite, I like blowing out candles at Pat and Mikes when I'm the last one in the non smoking area and all of the lights are turned off, and I like smelling roses, and I like laying on the ground looking at the sky and I love the scent of roses from my garden.

give it up, kid, give it up.

but...

GIVE IT UP!

okay.

Why do I always end up playing this song?

I love the cold.

Ugh, so I basically fucked up my last template from messing around too much to the point where when I clicked on the links nothing would occur. Seeing that it is 1:15 AM currently, I am going to bed and just using my good ol' template I've had since the beginning..

Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot.

imbecile!

"Stay away from her."

"...fair warning."

Good Morning

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled King composing
Hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

There was a time when you let me know
What’s real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The Holy Dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who’s seen the light
It's a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

~~~~~~~~~

Good Morning.

as of late

To:
James
Date:
Nov 10, 2005 2:40 PM
Subject:
I wish I may, I wish I might.
Body:

Just to say

that when you're writing your novella or what have you, and you mention a girl with sapphire eyes that remind you of sunflowers

don't forget the part of how she sits alone on the staircase and listens to her messages on her cellphone that she saved. And remember to mention of how she responds aloud to each of them in odd whispers.

I don't believe I have cried for the longest time, thanks for reminding me of what tears tasted like.


I shall miss you; thank you for the happiness.

-emerald

Le mort a mon cour

I've given up on him; perhaps I was just not supposed to see him. Mais oui, I miss him terribly now, but do I even know him? Hardly. Maybe. Perhaps.

I told him I would see him yesterday.

Boy, did I ever.

I saw him in the back of my mind the entire time,

god I miss him.

Worst part is he probably thinks I'm some unsympathetic bitch.

well, good.

So today is the morning of the pageant..

hah, who gives a fuck?

Anyway, I most certainly miss James, and if I ever see him again I won't fuck it up and not hug him, that is if there is a chance.

Rewatched Amelie today, great movie, gotta write a movie review for it.

Kyle shaved and played online checkers with me.

I'm just up in arms with calculus.

Bush is fucking up more and more.

English, j'adore.

Now fuck! I have 10 minutes to get ready! I leave now.