Erm, damn.

So I entered Ms. NMBH with the promise of 30 dollars for following through, now I'm thinking twice...

Yes you know it's all interesting and full of great shit, it's a life, okay? I can't remember half the shit I did/do anyway, so yeah tonite was halloween, this weekend i sat in a forest with kyle and jennifer and no one noticed i had dissapeared and everyone was essentially worried about those two. i learned how to do the worm and my body still aches, he's leaving for chicago and i'm taking him to collectors tomororw, mon frere....oh boy we're not even going down that road right now,

God I just want to go to a waffle house and end up sitting on the highway listening to Tom Waits instead.


aw fuck .

"I finished watching Amelie for the 3rd time. I'm rather fond of the movie. I made friends today with a janitor named Kevin who is possibly 54 but claims he's only 23. I find it funny that the US owns Puerto Rico, but we won't technically make them a state as that would upset the perfect number of 50. I think that I shall get my major in theatre and a minor in foreign languages although I prefer movies much much more than theatre. I've also given thought to getting a directing degree but I know that this and theatre will take me no where. This slightly strikes fear in my heart with the idea that I will be a waitress until I am godknows how old or the better idea that I will own a coffeehouse and just make ends meet. Yet this also slightly scares me for I want to see the world. If I am bound to a job and such my entire life I don't know if it will be worth living. I see myself a 30 something and just taking up and leaving in the middle of the night for France or somewhere (perhaps Australia!). and it will be just like that, a very normal day. Perhaps a Tuesday, and I won't tell my landlord and I won't tell my boss, I will just dissapear, and then begin anew. I might be a hobo at first, no it will be more planned than that, I'll visit a relative or stranger in a country or just rent out an apartment and have it all set up over there, that would be lovely. I also like listening to people's problems and when no one is unhappy then I am unhappy because perhaps one of the only things that makes me happy is listening to people's problems and making them happy. There's probably a psychological term for that. I've figured out why lean cuisines are so popular, because they taste like shit and the person who packed their lunchbox only brought a lean cuisine so they technically starve themselves to death until they reach their flat at 11:30 at night. I'm also fond of astrophysics and chemistry, which I believe I get from my father, but where willl that take me? Absolutely no where.

To sum it all up, "Death of a Salesman" is way better than "The Glass Menagerie".

- Victoria"

I'm singing "Those were the days my friend" for Ms. NMBH, yes I am pulling through with it.

I have it figured out. I'm taking him to that cafe I mentioned to him a year ago before he leaves.


Thinking it through, I don't want to go to College of Charleston. It's good campus but it will take me no where. I'm thinking Berkley or University of California, who knows

I miss him. C'est terrible. and for some odd reason my body aches all over as if I've been bruised everywhere.

Ms Huggins is the one that gives me that inferiority complex. Second time I've left the room and cried from her class

by the by, taking a monologue in Febuary to ITS competition, titled "Exudious" by the play "Trepidation Nation"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

now you may be asking yourself, "What is the point to this blog?" I honestly don't want/could care less if any one read it. It's mainly here for me to look back and laugh.

Stacey called me at 5:30 AM today and told me to hang up. Then she cried to my cell phone answering machine.

Jennifer complains, but says she's fine to me.

No one wants me to listen to them, and now I'm slightly depressed by it.

Am I that bad of a person?

I know it's getting annoying, it being me. I tried to leaving but now the weather's getting colder just like I am.

I want to help someone.

Yes, I am lonely.



In other news I am gonna be in ms. nmbhs this year.

Songs Played during this post: "Break Out" Foo Fighters "Somethings Got Me" Lori Carson

I am so pathetic, I just can't stop thinking about him. Last night I had stayed up till 2 AM and I finally wrote him a letter and then this morning I sent it to him. Luckily, in Charleston today I was so amazed at the beauty of the area that I didn't think of him. But once I arrived back I checked every possible way he could have contacted me, and he didn't. I am just terribly pathetic.

*sigh*

• All videos and quizzes on derivatives ch. 3
• All homework on ch. 3
• Comp/Cont essay on death of salesman and glass menagerie
• Performance Analysis Essay
• Clean freakin room
• Study for fucking Ch 3 test
• Write script for theatre class

Carson. I blocked you on AIM and I deleted my el jay becuase had once again degraded to you calling me a bitch, albeit an artistic one which is technically better than before. Nonetheless I dislike you.

I've been coming and going, went to take a mensa test today met up with erin at a "mellow mushroom" good pizza, thursday nite was the play and i ended up seeing "history of violence" with julien and nick. I saw James and gave him his birthday gifts. On friday I had indian cuisine at a downtown place with mom and i got new undies, aka no more granny panties thank god. so yes, new lingerie thank god thank god thank god.

I've been having weird dreams again; this can't be good.

I wrote him a letter that simply said,

"What can a girl give a stranger? Perhaps himself."

And with it, the two letters he sent me and a CD

"I Never Talk to Strangers" Tom Waits
"Vampires" Fastball
"Sail Away" David Gray

I feel uneasy, it doesn't seem right.

For once, I wish I could regain my intelligence.