Something is Not Quite Right

Last evening, I went to Salsarita's with Jamie.

I have really no emotions for him.

We were sitting in Salsarita's and it was absolutely boring. It was only interesting when I went to Bi-lo by myself to buy some cowtails and ferror rochers' then when I went into the Living Room. And the living room only got interesting when Jamie and I were talking to each other via scrabble pieces. And even that got boorish so we moved onto asking each other trivial pursuit questions which got boorish but we did it anyway, and the man who was playing piano took a break and came over and I requested "Firefly" and he said he didn't know it..

I call her fire..
fire fly,
why can't i?
latch on to your know how?
oh how, i love ya but gee,
why ya set the night on fire..
fly..
shine a little light on me,

but when i get her there
set her there
do i get to pet her there?
and grab me some glow,
no she's a mad about
gadabout,
luring every lad about,
while leavin' me moaning low

anyway..
.
So he ended up playing it's only a paper moon, which is good, i like that too. I eventually got so bored with trivial pursuit, when it got to my time to ask a question i said, "Why do you want me?" because I was hoping for a "I don't know, I thought I did, but now I don't think I do." or something because he looked pretty well...off in lala world, anyway he just looked at me and smiled and was like astonished or something and said "because of moments like this when I'm left speechless" and then he hugged me, in public, and I felt weird because there was the piano man and some children...but I didn't say "Something is not quite right" Then later when we were walking out, he hugged me really hard, I hugged back this time, I don't know, I kissed him on the cheek and said "goodnite jamie" , then he asked me a question, I thought it was "Will you take me home?" and I said "yes." and he was like "great!" and then I feared that entire car ride it was a different question..

it was.

I got online and he basically said I agreed to taking him back.

Taking him back?

Yes, taking him back.

So, I've taken him back, but it isn't like I'm going to be attached.

Then what's the point of having him back?

I'm not sure, don't want to hurt his feelings?

I know he's going to be off making out with more girls, and I know his phone isn't working so there's really no means of communication with him. That's one reason why I'm not attached, because it's fucking impossible to be attached, there was a strand of hope that held it together, and well, I don't know, let's just say after that episode that little strand has been replaced with a strand of realization..

*sigh*

no, something is not quite right..