You know,

I've called you a total of six times.

You've never attempted a call to me.

This whole summer.

I gave up on Ben, one phone call to him...

...would it fucking kill you to say "hi"?




I stopped calling, because I'm sick of being the one trying to keep some relationship together.

I guess this is a nice way of you letting me know that our friendship would not have lasted in college.

..so maybe I won't visit Charleston as much as I thought..

~~~~~~~

I'm selfish, and a pig. Rereading this and I know you are just busy all summer running around with movies and work (work really) and Ems.

Sorry, I just got a bit lonely and selfish and took it out on you, Sara.

So apparently that wasn't godzilla, but actually a steam pipe explosion.

And I checked the details on CNN's webpage, This was at the bottom:

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Does anyone realize how screwy this is? 21 people died in a landslide in Nepal. That's near the bottom. 3 scalded in NYC and it's front story? I also appreciate the fact that Steve Jobs is more important than China.


dammit. I wanted to go to that improv show tontie (chuck and robin cancelled the concert since chuck is sickie)

One last time

*sigh*

So I've been enjoying NYC, and escaping regularly this huge problem in my life through booze, babes, and violence exploring, reading, and watching.

Chuck and Robin have been a big help, they're basically a few years younger than my parents only not married, don't want kids, rich, and they actually like me. wow.

so we're going to a free concert tonite at madison square garden. But i've come to the conclusion that NYC is a nice place, but unless you were born and raised here, it is not a nifty place to live. Sorry Brit, I understand this is your favourite town but...I dunno

Oh and this problem?

*phone rings*

Mom: Hello?
Me: Hey, mom, listen I just wanted to ask have you bought the sheets yet?
Mom: Um...no...
Me: Good, don't. I'm not going to live in the dorm.
Mom: I thought you would crash at least once a week there..
Me: No, this is just silly. I'm living with james.
Mom: Well. Okay.
Me: Okay, love you mom, bye.
Mom: Bye.


So I understand that it now costs me 2 grand a semester to go to USC basically for on house living because GUESS WHAT? "Unless one has written notice from parents that they are living off campus with his/her guardian, one must spend his/her first year upon the USC campus. And if you change your mind bitches too late because no one knew about this till after June 30th muahahahah"

so stupidity upon my part. and now I have my own dorm room! yippity skippity yay! Maybe I'll use the awesome kitchen in the downstairs...or in my apartment. So now because of this, I owe the school $2000 that no, my parents will not help in. Fucking FAFSA. You either have to put in your parents money situation or your spouses...hmm...spouses....maybe...it's too late anyway..I think...*Sara pleads in the background for me to not get hitched so early..."I love you, Tory. But I can't see you marrying so early" But Sara, I already know I'm gonna be with this guy forever and everyone I think knows that I don't place much in marriage...but it is a good thing to do finacially wise...*


$2000 (dorm one must live in so USC can gouge cash out of you) + $2000 (setting up apartment and paying rent)= $4000 X 2 (for next semster)= $ 8000

and all I have is $6000.

= waitressing.



"But sweetie, you can fucking sleep with him on the weekends! He can be with you in your dorm room till 2 AM!!..............speaking of which I want you to see a gynocologist"

"Mooom..."

Holy Shit, Shashi wasn't kidding. Takki chicken rolls, 4.50 for 8 for two, in this city I thought they'd be small but one filled me up so I have another in the fridge

they're greasydelicious my taste buds rejoice. couldn't find a homeless guy to give it to though, sat across a fellow at Washington Park, he was memorizing lines which I gotta do for my acting class, fuck I need to get on that.

It was a good day.

and out of Kill Bill, Easy Rider, and Cicade De Deus...well no, I guess I can't pick a favourite. Kill Bill for the shininess (dammit! Why didn't I get the second volume?!) Easy Rider was slow but pretty country. liked the ending. Cicade De Deus just kicked ass, but I like those kind of movies so it might be me.

Gonna do laundry, they have a library in the basement and I found something about learning Russian there last nite which works for me.

I desperately need someone to crack my back.

...

and a cold bath.


Oh I might see TMBG and Decemberists alone, which oh well, but hell even I can't pass up those two. Still gotta see Spring Awakening and I LOVE BLEECKER BOB'S ALBUM SHOPPE! ahhh I got a firesign album, a um "techno" album, and the damien rice "O" cd for 5 bucks a piece. that place is wonderfully cheap and when I asked for directions to Maumoons falafel stand they were like "Oh no man, don't go there, their chef just quit and opened his own place two blocks down etc etc" I found the Indian Roll place Shashi mentioned before either of the falafel places. I think I want to go to the Blue Note too.

Yeah, um. I might go to NYU cause the area surrounding just kicks ass.

No, I need to check out the west coast before I make any decision.

But I talked to the reps of masters of film division at Columbia U and NYU and both said to not waste my time with Honors and to just do media arts and business and hurry the fuck up. So I'm not gonna be in Honors USC even though I worked my ass off to get there. Which means 2 years at the longest. Hell yeah bitches.


I know I know my acting career up here is going no where, but I gotta let you know I am having a fucking awesome time.

Lonely? True, I'll give you that, I do say hello to passerbys on street and talk to the homeless when giving them pop tarts...Yes, I have no friends up here, but ah oh well, I'm making the most.

Tomorrow..staten island ferry free? cross the brooklyn bridge? Or is the farmer's market at Union Square only open on Sunday's? Yeah, I think I'll head over there.

*blows a kiss*




*winks too*

Pass Out.

dreams inconsistent angel things watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion yum yum chicken bone tell all your friends why doesn't sara ever call me scratch scratch bad breath terrible breath good to be um no this isn't home either damn oh my my by the side of the road lays a bum with an empty can fill it up with solid gold then you can really understand falafel friend i don't wanna talk i don't wanna rock i don't wanna sit by the phone and sometimes i feel the fear of uncertainty giv 'er a kiss 'nd it'll all be okie dokie skinnamarinkidinkydink skinnamarinkidoo i wuv yooou homestar oh god know hep me background saying i'll take you there cause i'm a p.i.m.p. is it worth it hahahaha and i'm doin it and doin it and doin it well stacey where are ye?


Conneticutt sucked/rocked.